Mylissa's Nemeton

Do as I say, not as I do...

2012-01-24T10:23:00.002Z

There are few things more frustrating than seeing hypocrisy in action. While everyone is guilty of it from time to time, there are some instances where it really should be avoided.

Parents should at least attempt to lead by example, rather than issuing strict dictats which they then proceed to ignore.

When managers criticise a team for failing to adhere to departmental procedures, they should make damn sure that they themselves are sticking to those procedures...

*sigh*

Any other hypocrisies that should be avoided?!

Buddy the cat

2011-02-26T15:13:00.002Z

Introducing Buddy, our wonderful cat!

Buddy is very lovely, if a little prone to mistaking hands/ankles/fingers/feet for prey...!

But he does try to apologise by leaving us regular gifts of headless mice at the bottom of the stairs. And once he even tried painting us a picture using paws, floor tiles and vole-blood. We were very impressed by his creativity. We're lucky to have such an intelligent cat.

Now if only he'd stop eating his food so quickly he makes himself sick...

2010 - been and gone

2011-02-25T12:20:00.002Z

So, not a single post in 2010. Whoops! Well, let's see, what has happened?!

Llyando and I got engaged after Christmas 2009 - extremely romantic! In April I finally got a job, which was a relief... We also moved into our new house at the beginning of April and spent some time redecorating (and having a great housewarming party!)

In the summer we visited Llyando's relatives in the US. On our return we got a cat (a rescue cat called Buddy - photos to follow!).

We also started wedding planning and I continued with my Open University History course. Llyando's walked Hadrian's Wall with some friends. And we both came down with flu before going to Dorset for Christmas 2010. New year was spent at a black tie and tiaras event in a wonderful restaurant near home.

I'm sure I've forgotten loads of important events from last year, but that's a start. Now that I have discovered blogging from the iPhone I hopefully will be posting a little more frequently!

Blatant advertising

2011-02-25T10:15:00.002Z

I know, I should be ashamed. But a friend of mine has started a new blog and, although it is still in it's early stages, I think it'll be a good'un. Find the Big Book of Nonsense here!

Easier blogging

2011-02-25T09:41:00.002Z

Oooh a blogging app on my iPhone! This is going to make thinks much easier - hooray!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Christmas Cheer

2009-12-24T10:58:00.006Z

For the first time ever I am spending part of Christmas day (and Christmas Eve) away from my family. Terrible, you might think, but I'm actually spending it with Llyando's family before heading to my family for the second half of the day. So it is definitely not terrible!

And with all the lovely snow and ice I'm feeling very Christmassy...

I love Christmas - people in the street are extra-friendly, families forget their little squabbles (excepting, of course, the traditional barney over the turkey/game of Monopoly) and small children run around with huge grins on their faces.

So I'm particularly lucky. This year I will have not one, but two lots of family and lots of Christmas cheer.

Hope you all have an equally wonderful Christmas!

My name is...

2009-06-22T13:11:00.004+01:00

Anonymity. It's quite important to me. Not because I think anything I write is particularly controversial, or that anyone would be interested in stalking me, but because I don't like the idea of instantly linked with what I've blogged.

What I write is truly what I think. But its not always appropriate to voice your opinions loudly regardless of the situation or company you're in. For example, I probably wouldn't launch into a rant about American politics, or cotton wool culture to everyone I met. I wouldn't talk about sex education with someone I didn't know very well. Nor would I be likely to discuss my religious views at work. Or death.

So having a barrier between the real 'me' and the Mylissa who blogs is important. I can (and do) tell my friends where to find my blog. But I don't include the link in the countless job applications that I'm sending out. you get my point.

So the recent ruling regarding the 'outing' of the award-winning Night Jack blogger has come as a bit of a shock. Of course, his situation is rather different. Blogging identifiable details about ongoing police cases was unjustifiably stupid. But the whole thing does beg the question, how easy would it be for someone to track down who I really am? (And no, that's not a challenge...)

Summer is here!

2009-06-22T13:02:00.004+01:00

It is official. Summer is definitely here. Not only was it the Summer Solstice yesterday, but Wimbledon has started. Cue the strawberries and cream, the jugs of Pimms and the harsh shrieks and grunts as tennis balls connect with rackets.

Excitingly, there are British hopes this year. Not just the talented, but occasionally inarticulate Andy Murray, but the young Laura Robson. Hopefully they'll both do well. Fingers crossed I get a job and am unable to watch every match...

Update: Bad luck Laura...

Good service and unemployment

2009-05-11T15:32:00.004+01:00

Well so much for having internet connection. A certain British telecommunications company (I name no names), having connected our phone line, decided (in their great wisdom) to cut us off. They apologised, admitted it was their fault and then told us it would be 3 weeks before we could be reconnected...

Customer service? You must be joking...

We are, in fact, due to be reconnected on Wednesday. O2, our internet provider, have been very helpful and hopefully the internet will connect as soon as the phone line does.

It really shouldn't be this difficult, although I must say it has been Llyando who has done a lot of the phoning, rather than me. As you know, I'm not very good at being assertive.

In other news, I'm now unemployed. My contract came to an end and the organisation I was working for couldn't keep me on. So, I'm spending my time searching for a job. Any job. Really any job. So if anyone out there wishes to employ me, please let me know!

Otherwise I'll have to be a kept woman while continuing my bid for world domination through blogging...

Back for good...

2009-04-14T21:10:00.005+01:00

And I'm back. for good this time! We do, finally, have internet! (queue more frequent posts).

In celebration of this momentous occasion, I would like to direct you to the fantastic website http://www.comparethemeerkat.com/
It is amazing, particularly Aleksandr's tv adverts and blooper reel.

Genius bit of advertising really and very funny.

Now I'm off to try and remember how to write proper blog posts....

Still breathing

2009-03-24T20:43:00.003Z

Yes, I'm still aliiiiiive!

Apologies (again) for the lack of posts. Not enough internet time, plus I'm looking for a job. So every lunch break I spend my time trawling the net for exciting jobs rather than blogging. Shameful, isn't it?

Anyway, thank you CorfuBob for your kind offer of posting things for me, but I'm just going to let you all stew for a bit. Seriously, nothing exciting has happened anyway. Apart from my car dying. And going to watch the Six Nations battle between England and Scotland at Twickenham.

I have a few days holiday coming up, so I might have a chance to post then!

Bye for now....

Connections

2009-03-05T09:13:00.000Z

No internet yet I'm afraid, but we might get it soon... Probably no posts until the weekend! Try to survive...

Quote of the Day

2009-03-03T15:17:00.001Z

I don't mean to imply, incidentally, that absolutely everyone who takes their clothes off for a living is desperate, miserable or exploited. That's the cliche, but really - can you name a profession in which there aren't people who are desperate, miserable or exploited? Which would you rather do? Strip for a camera now and then, or work full-time in an office sitting beside a perspiring Coldplay fan who spends each lunchtime getting bits of moist cheese-and-onion crisp in his goatee and chortling over his Facebook messages?

Charlie Brooker

Back to reality

2009-03-02T11:53:00.001Z

Well I’m back from my holiday and feeling, well, un-refreshed to be honest.
Having now reached 25 years of life I feel older and wiser, or perhaps not.
Our few days in a holiday cottage in Northumberland did not go without a hitch due to a lack of hot water and a blocked chimney. A letter will be written to the organisation concerned. Then there was a weekend in Durham seeing friends, which was nice, but there was not much sleep followed by a lot of driving (although I disgraced myself as co-pilot and dozed off while Llyando was driving).

So now back to the grindstone, but I’m ready for another holiday already. Bring on the weekend….

More to the point, however, blogging recommences from today. And hopefully (*fingers crossed*) we might have internet at home soon!

100th post!

2009-02-20T11:42:00.006Z

This is my 100th post!

It was, admittedly, a slow start and progress has been hampered by a lack of internet connection. but I've made it, this first milestone. Next step - 500...

In honour of this momentous occasion, I would like to encourage comments on how its gone so far, which have been your favourite posts, any topics you'd like me to cover and any changes you would make if it was your blog.

If you do think Mylissa's Nemeton is the most wonderful blog in the world, then please follow or share!

Thank you all for reading. :D

Mylissa xxx

I would like to be... on holiday

2009-02-20T11:31:00.005Z

I would like to be on holiday.

Oh wait, I am!

Officially on holiday now for just over a week. We'll be in deepest, darkest Northumberland for most of it (after a weekend in Dorset), so please don't expect any posts!

I do intend to write (on a piece of paper) a couple of posts and will upload them when I'm back, so you wont be without for too long. Try not to miss me. I'm sure you'll cope...

Tutu on Obama

2009-02-19T10:37:00.005Z

Apologies for this lengthy post, but I was so impressed with this article from the BBC by Desmond Tutu on Barack Obama that I wanted to share it in its entirety.

Desmond Tutu, the first black South African archbishop of the Anglican church and veteran campaigner against apartheid, gives a lecture in London on Thursday to mark the 75th anniversary of the British Council. Here, he explores some of the same themes in an article written for BBC News.

I make no apology for talking and writing, in the UK, about a foreign leader. But expectations of him are so high and attention worldwide is glued to his every step as he reaches the end of his first month in office. He is the story of the moment.

I am obviously referring to Barack Obama.

Three months ago as I watched the news that could define an era, I rubbed my eyes in disbelief and wonder. It could not be true that Barack Obama, the son of a Kenyan, was to be the next president of the United States.
During the previous administration's term, I'd been asked to suggest one unilateral magnanimous gesture or action that the incoming US president might make to counteract anti-Americanism abroad. I said that while there were clearly pockets of anti-Americanism around the world, this was definitely not a global
phenomenon nor was it directed towards the American people.
What I certainly could attest to was substantial resentment and indeed hostile opposition to the policies of a particular US administration. I contended, as I do now, that the two are quite distinct and separate. An elucidating example dates back to the years of the anti-apartheid struggle. The Reagan White House was firmly opposed to applying sanctions against the South African apartheid regime, preferring what it described as "constructive engagement". Many of us were incensed by this policy and opposed it with every fibre of our being.

I probably dismayed many people when on one occasion I was told of the latest Reagan rejection of our call for US sanctions against Pretoria. I retorted, out of deep exasperation, "The West can go to hell!" I was then Bishop of Johannesburg, and some thought it was decidedly un-episcopal language.
I was very angry toward the Reagan administration, but that did not make me anti-American. And that is the point, anger and resentment toward the policies of a particular administration do not necessarily translate into anti-American sentiment.
When I was nine or so, I picked up a tattered copy of Ebony magazine. I still don't know where it could have come from in my ghetto township with its poverty and squalor. It described how Jackie Robinson, a black man like us, had broken into major league baseball and was playing scintillatingly for the Brooklyn Dodgers.
I did not know baseball from ping-pong. That was totally irrelevant.
What mattered was that a black man had made it against huge odds, and I grew inches and was sold on America from then on. Remember the extraordinary outpouring of sympathy and concern after 9/11? That surely could not have happened, certainly not on such a vast global scale if people hadn't genuinely cared. Everywhere, virtually. But what happened that all these positive warm feelings toward the United States were disrupted and turned into the negative ones of hostility and anger?

For those of us who have looked to America for inspiration as we struggled for democracy and human rights, these past seven years have been lean ones. When war began, first in Afghanistan and not long after in Iraq, we read allegations of prisoner abuse at Bagram air base in Afghanistan and of rendition to countries notorious for practising torture. We saw the horrific images from Abu Ghraib and learned of gruesome acts performed in the name of gathering information. Sometimes the torture itself was couched in the US government's euphemisms - calling waterboarding an "interrogation technique".
To the past administration's record on torture, we must add a string of other policies that have damaged the standing of the United States in the world: its hostility to the Kyoto Protocol on greenhouse gases; its refusal to assent to the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court; its restrictions on the use of US funding to fight Aids; and the arrogant unilateralism it has employed in declaring to be enemies any countries it deemed "against us" because they were not "for us".

I never imagined in my worst dreams that I would live to see the day when the United States would abrogate the rule of law and habeas corpus as has happened in the case of those described as "enemy combatants" incarcerated in Guantanamo Bay. Or that I would hear an American government and its apologists use exactly the same justification for detention without trial, as had been used by the apartheid government of South Africa - a practice that the United States at the time condemned roundly, as was so utterly right to have done. So, it was a devastating case of deja vu for some of us, thoroughly disillusioning. The Bush administration managed to rile people everywhere. Its bully-boy attitude sadly polarised our world.
Against all that, the election of Barack Obama has turned America's image on its head.
On US election night last November, I wanted to jump and dance and shout, as I did after voting for the first time in my native South Africa on 27 April 1994.
My wife cried with incredulity and joy as we watched a broadcast of the celebrations in Chicago, after the election results came through. A newspaper here ran a picture of Obama from an earlier trip to one of our townships, where he was mobbed by youngsters. It was tacitly saying that we are proud he once visited us.

Because the Bush years have been disastrous for other parts of the world in many ways, Obama's victory dramatises the self-correcting mechanism that epitomises American democracy. Elsewhere, oppressors, tyrants and their lapdogs can say what they like and, for the most part, they stay put. But ordinary citizens living in undemocratic societies are not fools; they may not always agree with US foreign policy, but they can see and register the difference between the United States - where people can kick an unpopular political party out - and their own countries.
Obama's election has been an epoch-making event that filled the whole world with hope that change is possible.
People everywhere identified Obama as the bearer of a new hope, someone who could electrify crowds with spellbinding oratory, galvanizing many out of their lethargy. His election also said more eloquently than anything else that we black people are not God's step-children, despite so much evidence to the contrary.
That whatever we attempt, we can do it - yes we can.
In the midst of this celebration, however, a word of caution is appropriate. In the first days after 9/11, the United States had the world's sympathy, an unprecedented wave of it. President Bush squandered it. Obama too could easily squander the goodwill that his election generated if he disappoints.
It would be wonderful if, on behalf of the nation, Obama apologises to the world, and especially the Iraqis, for an invasion that I believe has turned out to be an unmitigated disaster.

While he's already promised to shut down Guantanamo Bay, he should also move to ratify the Rome Statute on the International Criminal Court. For many of us, an upright US was a great inspiration in our fight against the iniquity of apartheid. I pray that President Obama will come down hard on African dictators, especially because they cannot credibly charge him with being neo-colonialist.
The US administration needs to reach out to other nations, build bridges, listen.
Obama and his Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, have spoken of the importance of smart power and the role of cultural diplomacy in their foreign policy toolbox. The sounds and gestures coming from them are most welcome, but they must now carry through on these.
Keeping the relationships alive between different peoples, and the dialogue going in difficult times is essential. They pave the way for better times. In a world of increasing instability and mistrust and in the face of shared global challenges, we need to build understanding and collaboration between ordinary people, to forge the ties which can last a lifetime whatever is happening on the political stage.
We owe our glorious victory over the awfulness of apartheid in South Africa in large part to the support we received from the international community, including the United States and United Kingdom, and we will always be deeply grateful.
The British Council, where I will speak today to mark their 75th anniversary, worked with us during those years providing educational and cultural activities. These included training in the UK for 200 black South Africans and working with local groups on language teaching and reading in black primary schools. The British Council supported Nelson Mandela's work in reforming the post-apartheid diplomatic service and education system.

And here I must comment on the UK government's role as the US's biggest ally this past eight years, in particular in the war on terror. Your standing in the world has also suffered as a result of this close co-operation, although perhaps to a slightly lesser degree thanks to other more favourable actions in tackling climate change, interest in Africa's problems and campaigning on debt relief.
The problem today is that you don't have the redeeming Obama factor and although you perhaps don't come from such a low point, you don't have his advantage of international goodwill in restoring the UK's perception overseas.
Going forward, as we strive to create a stable, prosperous world for all, we need to work together with other nations for justice, equity and peace. We need to believe that the values of fairness and compassion are not only yours and mine; they are shared by all humanity.
Most of us do want to see peace.
And here I want to end with what seems so utterly obvious about what we learned from our particular situation in South Africa. Peace does not come from the barrel of a gun but is achieved when cultural differences are respected and the fundamental rights of all are recognised and upheld.

Knitting your memory healthy

2009-02-18T16:44:00.003Z

Good news for those of you who, like me, enjoy nice hobbies such as knitting, reading, crafts, or even playing computer games. Apparently it helps reduce memory loss as you get older.

I have just one question:
What if, like me, your memory is rubbish already?

*cries helplessly*

Religion = Happiness?

2009-02-18T13:08:00.005Z

Being religious could mean you’re a happier person, according to a study. It seems that religion could provide you with a “buffer” against life’s disappointments and problems.

Obviously I have a tendency to be a little biased here – my religious beliefs have got me through a lot of problems with my sanity (more or less) intact. Of course, I have no way of knowing if I would have got through them in exactly the same way without having religious beliefs – it is an unrepeatable experiment!
However, I would agree that generally, religious people seem to have a more positive outlook on life - a way of smoothing out life’s little ups and downs. I’m not saying that everyone with a religious belief can do that, or even that those without one can’t. And of course, people who believe that the world is damned and that the apocalypse is coming probably are less affected by the minor bumps in the road of life. After all, so long as they’re saved...

Back to my point. I think religion does provide a comfort factor, although I think this varies from religion to religion. Nevertheless, I’m grateful for it.

However, a ‘scientific’ study seems to me to be impossible. How can we quantify happiness? How can we identify what causes it? As people find different things make them happy, how can a study like this ever come out with a sensible answer?!
Equally, religion can be the cause of so much misery. How can religion improve our happiness if it is sometimes the cause of war or persecution?

What do you think?

Quote(s) of the day

2009-02-16T16:15:00.005Z

Today's quotes are on a theme. No particular reason, except we all need a little motivational quotational on a Monday. Or is this a mistake?!

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.
Cullen Hightower

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.
Al Franken

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.
James Joyce

We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made.
Dan Quayle

Love is all around us.

2009-02-13T17:27:00.003Z

In anticipation of a lack of internet at home over the weekend (the assigned installer of a certain well-known British provider of digital, satellite television and broadband apparently failed to turn up today. Again. We're switching to a different provider.), I would like to wish you all a very happy Valentine's Day. I hope you all manage to avoid its hideous over-commercialness and are able to enjoy the day with a loved one.

If not, happy Anti-Valentines Day. Go clubbing, drink and party like there's no tomorrow. Or curl up in front of a good film with some wine and chocolate. Whichever is your preference. Besides, apparently there's no hope for the weekend: sexual desire is entering a recession.

If desperate, you could always check out the anti-Valentines event arranged by anarchy activists Class War. There will be 'anarcho-speed-dating'. How could you possibly resist?!

Or you could test your romance levels with this Love Quiz. I scored 15/18 - 'You are a hopeless romantic. You're a dreamer, who believes that love conquers all.' *tries not to be sick*

Enjoy!

Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings

2009-02-13T16:33:00.002Z

Nine year-old Alec Greven has written a best-selling book called ‘How To Talk To Girls’. Apparently it is great stuff. And it proves, once and for all, that there’s no excuse for getting it wrong. If a nine year-old can do it…

George 'Zombie' Bush

2009-02-12T17:04:00.004Z

Congratulations to the South African TV station ETV whose news program fallaciously announced a report of George Bush's death. While testing a moving banner headline stating 'George Bush is dead', a technician accidently pressed the 'broadcast for live transmission' button. He is, in fact, still alive. I think. How do you tell?

Further congratulations are in order, however, for their stunning response to the Afrikaans language newspaper Beeld and the media group's website News24.com who broke the story:

"Its unfortunate, because we never comment on their mistakes," said [ETV News spokesperson] Vasili Vass.

BBC News

Somebody give that man a pay rise.

Quote of the Day

2009-02-11T12:07:00.003Z

This little gem is from Nick Robinson’s Newslog, describing the apologies yesterday by British banking leaders:

…the question was left hanging: “what are they sorry for?” For the consequences of banks’ failures for shareholders, staff and customers certainly. What was much less clear, however, is that they accepted personal responsibility for causing those consequences.

This felt more like the captain of the Titanic saying “I’m sorry the iceberg was there” and less like “Sorry I steered my ship into the iceberg and promised you that it couldn’t sink.”

Nick Robinson

Hello! (in a very Boris-esque way) - by Llyando

2009-02-10T20:11:00.003Z

So this is me...

There we go, that's it, well not really but I'm new to this sort of thing. I'm an Engineer by personality as well as by profession so tend to have a very literal view on most things, including typing to myself on a computer. However, as this has been proposed to me by Mylissa I have little choice (besides, at the very least I'm typing to one person... right!?).

Engineering is a funny way of life, as I said I tend to see things a lot more logically than most people, and a lot more straight forward. If something is broken or wrong, fix it; if it isn't, don't. However, not all engineers think like this - engineering attracts polarities of common sense, they either have lots of it or none at all. I hope to be one of the former, although tend to end up in the latter camp...

Anyway, with such an orthogonal view (some of the time) to Mylissa maybe I can add a bit of a different spin to some issues (and still end up with a bed to sleep in at night!).

Llyando

Introducing Llyando...

2009-02-10T15:54:00.001Z

Llyando has no blog of his own, and he doesn’t think he has enough time or enough to write to have one of his own. *waits for sounds of pity*
So, I’m going to let him write the occasional post here. Aren’t I the dutiful and loving girlfriend?!

Fear not, this does not mean there will be less wittering or ranting from me. Au contraire, you will now be snowed under by even more witter and rant…
Who knows, Llyando’s posts might be even better than mine. Although if they are, he’s being chucked of onto his own blog pretty sharpish. That is, if he doesn’t get totally addicted and have to start his own one anyway...

I was tempted to stick a great big picture of him here, but thought I’d probably get sent to bed without any supper if I did. I will try and get him to improve his profile at any rate.

So, look out for Llyando’s posts - they’ll be clearly marked. And please keep on commenting!

Quote of the Day

2009-02-10T13:36:00.002Z

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.

Albert Einstein

Cotton Wool Culture

2009-02-08T15:00:00.012Z

My father sent me an email this week (see below) that poked fun at not just modern parenting, but today's litigious society. When I came across this story on the BBC, I couldn't resist a post.
Have a look at this picture (from the BBC website). What would you do? Would you stop the boy from sawing? Or would you let him carry on, knowing that he'd learn his lesson and probably only bang his knee?

I'd let him fall.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking. As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because:

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were OK. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes after running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We did not have Playstations, Nintendos, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CDs, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chatrooms....... WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes. We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

Thanks for nothing

2009-02-08T13:54:00.003Z

I am one of those British people who is terribly, terribly polite. Even to people who don't deserve it.

Imagine this situation:

I had arrived back in Basingstoke, off the train from London. It had been snowing in Basingstoke, but there were cars on the roads. I needed to get a bus home, so I headed to the bus-station.

No buses. One woman had been waiting for 2 hours. Apparently the roads were too unsafe for the route out to where I live.

I waited a while, chatted with some other people waiting. Then I went over to some drivers who were loitering at the other end of the station.

'Excuse me,' I said 'do you know if there will be a number 2 any time soon?'

'No love, too dangerous.' replied a man clutching a clipboard.

'Oh I quite understand. Its very difficult for you to ask drivers to go out in these conditions. But is there any chance of letting us know if there are any developments?'

'Yeah, all right.'

'Thank you so much, I really appreciate it.'

30 minutes later, nothing. no information, no buses. I wandered over again.

'I'm sorry to bother you again, but have the condition s got any better?'

'No.'

'I don't suppose you've got any indication of when or if they'll get better?'

'No.'

'Ok, well thanks for your help.'

Thanks for your help?! What's wrong with me? He couldn't have been less helpful unless he'd thrown a snowball at me. And I always do this.

Someone walks into me when I'm standing at the station. What do I say? 'Sorry!'

Someone wheels their large suitcase over my foot. 'Sorry!'

Someone pushes their trolley into my shin at the supermarket. 'Sorry!' I say as I hobble out of their way.

It is a very British condition, but I think I'm a particularly bad case. Perhaps I have to be more assertive:

Someone walks into me when I'm standing at the station. What do I say? 'Sorry for standing in your way. open your eyes next time.'

Someone wheels their large suitcase over my foot. 'Was my foot inconveniently positioned? Perhaps I should cut it off...?'

Someone pushes their trolley into my shin at the supermarket. 'Oh forgive me for so inconsiderately queuing here. Next time I should lie down in front of your trolley to facilitate your movement over me...'

Thirty-two mud-encrusted men and a referee went to mow a meadow

2009-02-06T16:31:00.003Z

Yes, its back. One of the highlights of my year. The 6 Nations starts tomorrow!

Ah, rugby. Such a British thing to watch. Yes British. We invented it, so stop moaning. And yes, England are currently a bit rubbish, but so what?

32 men (and a ref plus a couple of linesmen, but who’s counting?!) racing up and down the pitch, chucking a ball at each other, tackling, thudding onto the grass, kicking, gouging, biting….
And you know what, they’re neither protected by 20 layers of padding, nor do they writhe on the ground every time they stub their toes. Yes, you know what sports I’m referring to.

Rugby. Its what makes Britain great. That and the Queen. Oh, and our tea drinking. And lets not forget cream teas. Or marmalade. Or even our naval victories over the French (I’m not holding a grudge, I promise!). And of course, there’s the Beatles…

Ahem.

Rugby. Its one of the things that makes Britain great.

There will be more posts later in the tournament (some probably slightly rant-like) especially after weve been to Twickenham to watch England v Scotland... Jealous?!

Pretty in pink part deux

2009-02-05T14:15:00.003Z

Ok, so the poll doesn't seem to be working.

Comments below instead please!

Edit: its working now...!

Pretty in pink

2009-02-05T14:07:00.002Z

Spring has sprung, despite the snow (there were snowdrops in my parents' garden weeks ago...) and in honour of the, um, springiness, I've decided to change the theme to reflect this. Note the pretty leaves, the butterfly, the pink.

Ye gods, what's happened to me?!

So, should I stick with pink or revert to the plain old blue that was here before?

Vote in the poll to your right please!

A prayer with your medical treatment?

2009-02-03T12:50:00.007Z

Reading this story about a Christian nurse who offered to pray for a patient has left me torn.

According to the BBC, Caroline Petrie offered to pray for an elderly patient after visiting her at home and changing some dressings. The patient was not offended, but contacted the local health trust because she felt that others could have been offended by Mrs Petrie's offer of a Christian prayer. Mrs Petrie has been suspended pending an investigation.

The thing is, Mrs Petrie probably meant no offence. She was offering her personal, spiritual aid to complement the medical aid she was giving.

However, she was employed for medical purposes only - to change the patient's dressings, not to offer spiritual succour. And I know that if I was lying ill in hospital, for example, I would hate for someone to be praying over me. Unless they were Pagan. Or a family member. Or a friend.

Perhaps the problem is that it was unsolicited prayer from a stranger, with no thought as to the faith or personal beliefs of the patient. We don't know if Mrs Petrie first enquired if the patient was Christian/Baptist, but if she did, then perhaps its more understandable...

How many of us pray for people without asking their permission? Does it really matter? What if that person belongs to a different faith? Does it matter more? Or does it give you more of a right to pray for their 'salvation'?!

Could all my friends please give me permission to pray for them? Otherwise I'll try to remember not to.

Who's the smartest of them all?

2009-02-03T12:30:00.002Z

Oh the smugness. 20/20 in a quiz entitled 'How smart are you?'

It has made my morning!

Who needs art when you have nature?

2009-01-30T15:13:00.002Z

Nature is amazing. And beautiful. So is art, admittedly. And I'm not really suggesting that we don't need art.

But nature is pretty special.

Quote of the day

2009-01-29T11:59:00.001Z

House: Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people. Otherwise, there wouldn't be religious people.

from House Season Four: The Right Stuff

Quote of the day

2009-01-28T18:16:00.002Z

Perfection Wasted
And another regrettable thing about death
is the ceasing of your own brand of magic,
which took a whole life to develop and market-
the quips, the witticisms, the slant
adjusted to a few, those loved ones nearest
the lip of the stage, their soft faces blanched
in the footlight glow, their laughter close to tears,
their warm pooled breath in and out with your heartbeat,
their response and your performance twinned.
The jokes over the phone. The memories packed
in the rapid-access file. The whole act.
Who will do it again? That's it: no one;
imitators and descendants aren't the same.

John Updike 18 March 1932 - 27 January 2009

What's in a name?

2009-01-28T17:07:00.004Z

So, a couple of people have asked why I don’t use my real name on my blog. Well, it’s primarily to maintain at least some anonymity – something I think is quite important when posting anything online. Apart from facebook, but on facebook my privacy settings are turned up to max…

But why MylissaAriana?

Ariana was taken from Arianrhod of Welsh mythology. Not a particularly nice woman, but I like the name…

The English name is derived from the Italian form of the Greek name Ariadne, which means "most holy" (Cretan Greek αρι [ari] "most" and αδνος [adnos] "holy") and a Welsh name meaning silver (Welsh arian, "silvery").

from Wikipedia

Ariadne, of course, being the woman who helped Theseus overcome the Minotaur and the Labyrinth by giving him a ball of red wool and a sword.

As for Mylissa, well…
To cut a long story short, I had a very weird, but vivid, dream in which my name was Mylissa. Shortly afterwards I had to come up with a name to use online, and so I went for that.

Simple really!

Excessive force?

2009-01-28T10:40:00.006Z

More than 1,300 Palestinians have been killed since Israel began its land, sea and air operations against Hamas militants on 27 December, including 400 children. Fourteen Israelis have died.

This statistic in various Gaza/Israel stories on the BBC news website is terrifying. Where, previously, numbers had been qualified by the statement ‘according to Palestinian sources’, the BBC seem to be suggesting that this is an accurate figure. With the recent furor over the BBC’s decision not to screen a fundraising appeal for humanitarian relief in Gaza by the Disasters Emergency Committee, I can’t imagine they’d be lax about their statistics, or allow anything that could be perceived as bias in their reporting.

Fighting a war against terrorists/freedom fighters is extremely difficult, especially when those militants have a history of sheltering amongst civilians. But Israel having made the decision to respond militarily to the rockets coming from Gaza, I can’t think of a way in which they could have effectively completed their campaign (assuming that their campaign was simply to stop the rockets) without huge risk to their own military forces.

But in my view, that in no way excuses the reports of extreme violence towards civilians and children, such as in this story:

…the head of neurosurgery at the El-Arish hospital, Dr Ahmed Yahia, told me that brain scans made it clear that a number of the child victims had been shot at close range.

And then there is this story.

If all this is true, nothing in the world can justify it.

A new look for Father Christmas

2009-01-28T09:51:00.004Z

Apparently two thirds of people prefer a green Santa. Not an eco-friendly Santa – he achieves that already with his reindeer-drawn sleigh. Although perhaps not. Do reindeer suffer from flatulence?

I digress. Green Father Christmas. Meaning, of course, a Father Christmas dressed in green. According to a National Trust survey, members of the public preferred traditional, green costumes when they were trialed at grottos last year.

A green costume suggests links to pagan ‘Green Man’ and also to Odin. The red costume is a recent phenomenon created by Thomas Nash in Victorian times and then cemented by the hideous commercialisation of a lovely, family-orientated, winter festival by the Coca Cola company (among others).

Admittedly, I might be biased, but I think its brilliant! Hopefully this year we’ll see more green Santas...

Simple ways to improve your life

2009-01-27T17:26:00.004Z

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.
Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bed pan.

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS:

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Witches wear wellies when its wet

2009-01-26T17:07:00.006Z

Thank you Dormouse for pointing out these rather wonderful welly boots.

Of course they're degrading stereotypes, but they're still great! Although maybe they'd be better if they weren't orange...

In a state of utter confusion...

2009-01-26T13:32:00.003Z

Just occasionally in life, you come across something that not only causes you to stop and think, but something that totally challenges everything.

This happened to me today.

Now, I’m not trying to be immodest here, but I’ve had a pretty good education. I’ve been very lucky. I went to a public boarding school (that’s private school to most of the world) from the age of 8-18 and while I didn’t enjoy it, I’ve got to say that they did their best to educate me to within an inch of both my life and my sanity. I went to a very good university and although I possibly didn’t leave with the best degree (for a variety of reasons), life at uni continued my education in not just an academic sphere but also in a general ‘this is how to live’ kind of way.
I enjoy reading. I read widely and have an interest in politics and current affairs. I like to debate topics with friends and family.
I am, admittedly, very bad at maths and not so great at science.

It is this last fact that should have alerted me that what I was about to read was going to cause problems.

Having read this post on the wonderful Dilbert blog I clicked on the link to the article: Our world may be a giant hologram (New Scientist website)

Interesting, I thought.

I understood about one word in ten. And it isn’t so much the words themselves, but the way they’ve been put together. They made things that look like sentences, but don’t make any sense:

“If GEO600 really has discovered holographic noise from quantum convulsions of space-time, then it presents a double-edged sword for gravitational wave researchers.”

Even the bits where theories were ‘explained’ make distressingly little sense to me:

“According to Craig Hogan, a physicist at the Fermilab particle physics lab in Batavia, Illinois, GEO600 has stumbled upon the fundamental limit of space-time - the point where space-time stops behaving like the smooth continuum Einstein described and instead dissolves into "grains", just as a newspaper photograph dissolves into dots as you zoom in. "It looks like GEO600 is being buffeted by the microscopic quantum convulsions of space-time," says Hogan.”

Concepts, theories… I just can’t get my head around it and this really upsets me! Its like a nightmare and I can't escape.

Most things, if I don’t understand the details, I can look up some background information somewhere and end up with at least something approaching understanding of the topic. With this, I have no hope. None. I just don’t get it. And I really hate that I can’t understand it. I am now in a state of nervous tension with an image of a me, stuck to a giant hologram, floating in front of my eyes. I can’t think about anything else and its freaking me out…

This state of mind is the thing that has really got to me. In a way, the contents of the article are neither here nor there. But it is this feeling of utter bewilderment. Complete confusion. The only time I've felt like this was in Poland where (despite speaking Russian) I understood virtually nothing of what was being said. It is a horrible feeling and now its back. I'm in hell.

So, in order to restore my sanity, if anyone can explain the concepts in the article to me using not just words of one syllable, but also explaining the theories behind it in a way that even an Iron Age woman might understand, then please, please help!

Quote(s) of the day

2009-01-20T15:57:00.006Z

Out with the old, in with the new...

"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead."

George W. Bush

"When we have faced down impossible odds; when we've been told that we're not ready, or that we shouldn't try, or that we can't, generations of Americans have responded with a simple creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can."

Barack Obama

Can they fix it?

2009-01-20T15:52:00.004Z

Apart from the fact that every time I see or hear the phrase ‘yes, we can!’ I think of Bob the Builder, I am very excited about the inauguration of the 44th American President, Barack Obama, later today (and not just because our office will be grinding to a halt to watch it on the BBC). Obama is taking over the reins of a country that has an awful lot of problems, but I’m sure that he will rise to the challenge admirably. Hopefully the rest of the country will offer him the support that he will need.
Good luck to him…

Meanwhile, this article by Andrew Roberts in the Telegraph suggests that perhaps George W. Bush wasn’t all that bad, despite these ‘Bushisms’ on the BBC website.

Ah well, it can only get better!

This little piggy went to market…

2009-01-16T14:36:00.004Z

Those of you who know me probably already know my views on pigs. Intelligent creatures for the most part (both my friends and the pigs. No, my friends are not pigs), pigs are also pretty cute. Well, piglets anyway.

I am by no stretch of the imagination vegetarian, but I don’t eat much pig. Or pork. Mainly I don’t like the taste of ham and bacon. But I like sausages. But I’m very fussy about what type of sausages I eat. I will only eat British reared pig. Not because of the taste (although it tends to be delicious), but because in Britain we have far higher pig rearing standards than in the rest of Europe.

In Europe, pigs are kept in terrible conditions. Intensively ‘factory’ farmed, with the sows locked in sowing stalls and farrowing pens, the pigs are often kept in darkness and on concrete floors. I would recommend reading Jon Henley’s article in the Guardian for further details.

In Britain it’s a slightly different story. We do have higher welfare standards for our pigs. Most pigs in Britain have access to the outdoors, straw in their pens and greater freedom of movement. But it still isn’t great. Often piglets born outside are fattened for slaughter indoors. Some British (Organic) farms are, of course, pretty good. Piglets gambolling about the open fields, out in the fresh air. All of that. But it comes at a price:

Tim Finney, managing director of Eastbrook's organic meats business, reckons that amounts to an extra 30 or 40p a kilo just to keep the system running, plus another 70p a kilo for the organic feed. "Overall," he says, "it probably costs us about double what it costs to produce a conventional pig. Although if we weren't organic, we could run the farm the same way and produce meat that was maybe 25% more expensive. That would still be a huge step forwards in welfare terms."

Jon Henley 'Welfare doesn’t come into it'

Jamie Oliver is starting a campaign. Not to improve standards necessarily, but to educate the public. He believes (as I do) that to be a meat eater (and we were bred to be), you have to fully understand where your meat comes from. With no apologies. If you eat meat, then yes, you are causing cute little piggies, curly-lashed calves and woolly, bleating lambs to be slaughtered. If you eat fish, then you are causing fish to be ‘drowned’. Get over it.

Oh, and if you’re a vegetarian, then please stop wearing or carrying leather. It just makes you a hypocrite. And justifying it by saying ‘well they’re dead anyway’ is ridiculous.

Anyway. If you can accept those things, good for you. I can accept them and so I eat meat. But that doesn’t mean that we’re so much better than animals. That we have the right to do what we want to them. We have the obligation to farm them as humanely as possible.

Ideally, of course we’d all raise our own animals like Alex Renton and send them to local slaughterhouses/butchers at the end of their happy, outdoor, organic lives.

Or stop eating meat.

Quote of the day

2009-01-14T17:33:00.002Z

Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine -- once.
Like the Borg, they learn...

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

I would like to be... in Sweden.

2009-01-14T17:29:00.002Z

I would like to be in Sweden. Becuase London is grey. And Basingstoke is grey. And even if Sweden is grey, it can't be any worse!
Besides, home is lonely right now as a certain person is on a business trip to Sweden. Lucky sod. Certainly more interesting than being stuck in an office surrounded by technology that is moving so slowly I'm contemplating attacking it with my tea cup. So..... slow....
So. Sweden. I'd like to be in Sweden please. Now.

A laugh for the day

2009-01-08T16:45:00.000Z

Forgive the manic multiple-posting today, but this is just too funny not to share:
Buried with your cell phone from the Scott Adams/Dilbert blog.

Enjoy!

Spiritual Development

2009-01-08T12:16:00.006Z

Sad news – the wonderful pagan – spiritual - philosophical podcast ‘Deo’s Shadow’ is coming to an end. For those of you who don’t know Deo’s Shadow, I would highly recommend it.
Deo and Mandy have moved from Paganism to Atheism and I wish them well, although I will miss the podcast greatly.

But it does raise the question of personal spiritual development – once we fall into a category/religious path, how easy is it to break away or change our views? Having been brought up as C of E, exploring new religions at school was very limited. Everything was labelled, everything fit nicely into a little box and everything was compared to Christianity. But do religious ‘labels’ really do us any good? There is so much in common between the world religions and most faiths evolve, to a certain extent, with the times. So when I describe myself as Pagan, what does that actually mean?

I had a long discussion with my boyfriend about religion recently. It was really interesting, not just the depth of philosophical thought that we reached, but also I became aware of how much I don’t fit into the ‘pagan/witch’ bracket and how much my personal beliefs have changed and developed since I turned to paganism when I was 14/15. Paganism, I feel, does allow for this kind of development. The existence of ‘solitaries’ who embrace their own paths allows a wide variety of beliefs and doesn’t restrict the individual’s personal beliefs, nor does it force them to ‘fit’ to a more widely held view/religion. A variety of published books (some more proscriptive than others, admittedly), online communities or 'real world' groups allow for the exchange of ideas necessary to reassess one’s beliefs.

Not that this makes paganism perfect. Often you are left floundering in a sea of uncertainty, with no one to help, no religious text to guide you (although this does ensure a level of independent thought and responsibility sometimes less evident in other religions). Labels can help you to define yourself and find your place in the world. But paganism’s label can also restrict development. So much is expected of a pagan. Either we fit with often ridiculous long-held superstitions and bigotry, or conversely, we are expected to enjoy a freedom of thought and action (and acceptance by the wider world) that often is unrealistic.

This is still only a small beginning of a barely-formed thought in a very small brain (and still subject to change), but what do the rest of you think?

Update: I've just left the following comment on the Wild Hunt Blog on this topic (Part one here):

Personally I think that part of the problem is the labelling - putting people into boxes according to their label - and then expecting them to stay there! One of the things that appeals to me most about Paganism is its flexibility, that 'solitaries' follow their own path and therefore can change that path as and when they develop.
But perhaps I'm just a very naive Pagan! Certainly I've not spent much time in a wider pagan 'community' (or 'network') either online or in the real world, other than setting up a Pagan Society at University. Interestingly, my aim of the society was to allow pagans to meet and exhange ideas, thus having their own views/beliefs challenged with a view to encouraging development. However it quickly became more 'boxy' than I had hoped and I felt that it was preventing the open discussion that I'd hoped for. If this is what Paganism is becoming, then I'm not suprised that Deo and Mandy are looking for a more open 'label' in which to continue their development! Good luck to them.

Update 2: Well I haven't posted the comment above onto the Wild Hunt yet, because it wont let me. Grr. I'll just have to try again later or tomorrow.

Blog-a-cat

2009-01-07T10:56:00.001Z

For those of you who are unaware, our lovely kitty Panjaa now has his own blog! The gods only know how he types so well. Our last cat was only able to create long strings of gibberish. Anyway, there will be more Panjaa photos (and possibly even a video or two including a very funny one featuring my dad) but updating it when we have no internet at home is tricky in the extreme… Basingstoke Library is my destination at the weekend, however, and I will hopefully be able to do something about it then.

The Nac Mac Feegle

2009-01-07T10:12:00.002Z

The Nac Mac Feegle (or the Wee Free Men) are a creation of the great genius Sir Terence Pratchett. Always up for a fight or a drink (or an opportunity to rustle a large farmyard animal), these little blue men pop up in several of Pratchett’s Discworld books. And they were the subject of conversation this morning. Namely, what nationality are they (loosely) based on? The options put forward were Scottish (of course) or Irish. Personally, I think the ‘Mac’ and the ‘crivens’, the clans, the accents, this article on Wiki, and the red hair and kilts all favour a Scottish descent. However, I fully accept that, despite being female, I am occasionally wrong. Please vote in the poll on the left and let me know what you think!

Quote of the day

2009-01-07T09:44:00.010Z

Ok, so its a very long quote, but I felt it should be seen in its entirety, it is very funny and demonstrates that I am not the only one planning to take over the world. Although I feel Charlie Brooker has been less ambitious with his plans. It is still full of bright ideas though....

Survive 2009 by learning to love and share. Why not start by frolicking in a bubble bath with a neighbour?
Only one thing's going to get us through 2009, and that's romance. And possibly cannibalism. But mainly romance.
In case you missed the bulletin in your post-festive daze, let me bring you up to speed. According to the latest predictions, here's what we're in for this year: MISERY. Yes, not just misery, but MISERY. In capitals. Just like that.
Dim your lights. Here's the highlights reel. The worst recession in 60 years. Broken windows and artless graffiti. Howling winds blowing empty cans past boarded-up shopfronts. Feral children eating sloppy handfuls of decomposed-pigeon-and-baked-bean mulch scraped from the bottom of dustbins in a desperate bid to survive. The pound worth less than the acorn. The City worth less than the pound. Your house worth so little it'll collapse out of shame, crushing you in your bed. Not that you'll die peacefully in your sleep - no, you'll be wide awake with fear, worrying about the situation in the Middle East at the precise moment a chunk of ceiling plaster the size of a flagstone tumbles from on high to flatten your skull like a biscuit under a shoe, sending your brain twizzling out of your earholes like pink-grey toothpaste squeezed from a tube. All those language skills and precious memories splattered over your pillows. It'll ruin the bedclothes. And instead of buying expensive new ones, your grieving, impoverished relatives will have to handwash those bedclothes in cold water for six hours to shift the most upsetting stains before passing them down to your orphaned offspring, who are fated to sleep on them in a disused underground station for the rest of their lives, shivering in the dark as they hear bombs dipped in bird flu dropping on the shattered remains of the desiccated city above.
Welcome to 2009.
So what do we do? Well, as with any scary situation, we could try scrunching up our eyes and wishing it all away, but that rarely works, unless you're driving a bus across a busy junction and couldn't give a fig for convention. Instead, we're going to have to co-operate with one another if we're going to get through this. I know, I know: ugh. The concept of sharing has been knocked out of us. For years it's been all about you, your nice things, your signature dish and your plasma screen, and everyone else can go swing. Now we'll have to knock on doors and swap cups of sugar. But maybe it won't be so bad. Picture yourself sharing a meal with a neighbour. Or maybe a bath. A bubble bath. Look, there are little tealight candles round the edge of the tub. And you're having a glass of red wine together! It's lovely! Assuming you have attractive neighbours. If not, sorry. Just close your eyes and wish it away, especially when they stand up, turn round and bend over to search for the soap.
Actually that whole bath scenario might represent the way forward. It sounds quite romantic, and authentic romance has been in short supply of late. Authentic romance makes life more enjoyable, but more importantly it costs nothing. Buying flowers and
baubles and Parisian city breaks - that's not authentic romance. That's lazy showboating. Authentic romance could flourish in a skip. Prove this to yourself. Invite someone on a date and spend the evening sitting in a skip making each other laugh with limericks or something. Get through that and you've bonded for life. Or maybe a week. It's hard to tell when you embark on a new relationship. Still, if you split up: time for more romance with someone else. Everybody wins.
Mark my words, you'd be wise to practice your romancing skills now, because when, circa October, we're huddled together in shelters sharing body heat to survive, the ability to whisper sweet nothings could prove useful. Come the dawn, you'll need to pair up with someone to go hunting for supplies with, and it'll help if you've been cuddling all night. The world outside will be dangerous, so there'll have to be two of you. One to root through the abandoned Woolworth's stockrooms and another to stand outside warding off fellow scavengers with a flaming rag on a stick.
Obviously if two is better than one, it follows that three is better than two, especially in the thick of a food riot. Rather than forming boring old duos as per tradition, polygamous unions involving up to 30 or 40 participants will emerge victorious, roving the landscape in packs by day, writhing around in obscene configurations in their papier-mache huts by night - strictly for the purposes of generating heat, of course. We can all do our bit. I, for one, am fully prepared to take on 50 wives if it'll help make the world more manageable, provided I don't have to talk to them and I get to wear a crown and issue decrees and everything. We'll create a kingdom in a cave somewhere and kill and eat unfortunate passers-by, like Sawney Bean and his family. Now they had vision. First potential wife to contact me with full Ordnance Survey reference numbers for a suitable location (warm cave, close to major thoroughfare) gets to be Minister of Skinning Trespassers Alive and Sticking Their Heads On Poles as a Warning to Others of Their Kind.
All things considered, this may be a bleak year but at least it'll be more interesting than, say, 2006, during which nothing happened. So grit your teeth and meet 2009 head-on, because it's not going anywhere until 2010 at the very earliest.
In summary: happy new year.

Thank you Charlie.

P.S. Sorry if anyone has seen this twice, it didn't post properly yesterday for some reason.

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T12:06:00.006Z

Happy New Year, Happy Christmas and Happy Yule to all my loyal readers. Ahem. All 3 of you.

Anyway, apologies for the long absence - it was due to lack of internet access. Due to not being at work. Due to lots of pain from a screwed up back.

But I have returned and you can look forward to lots more blogging throughout 2009!

One small request - is there any chance you lot could sign up to become a 'follower' of this blog (see link on right), thus establishing how close I am to my ultimate plan of world domination. Could you also occasionally reply to posts? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on the top? With some lovely Chococo chocolate on top? Its just nice to know that someone is reading....

National Adoption Week

2008-11-12T14:36:00.001Z

This week is National Adoption Week (10th – 16th November). I was adopted as a baby and am a huge advocate of the system. I only wish more people were willing to raise a child that doesn’t share their DNA. In my opinion, what makes a parent is the love and support they offer a child and the sacrifices they are prepared to make on the child’s behalf.

Sadly, however, shared DNA is not a sure sign of parental ability. This week has been full of the most horrific stories of child abuse involving parents deliberately harming their own children. The case of ‘Baby P’ suggests that local authorities must be more vigilant and aware that the family is not always the best place for a child. Most social workers do a very good job in extremely difficult circumstances, but something has gone horribly wrong here.
Meanwhile Shannon Mathews’ mother (along with a friend) has been accused of drugging her daughter and kidnapping her, in order to claim reward money for her safe return.

How this can happen is really beyond me.

Despite this (or perhaps because of this?) there are many children being adopted by wonderful parents and hopefully the good work done by the British Association for Adoption and Fostering in helping to create new families will continue.

Entertainment or Education? pt 2

2008-11-10T16:14:00.003Z

I had to just add, having seen this on the BBC website, how can the BBC justify some of its current content in light of its 6 public purposes?

In order for the BBC to fulfil its mission to inform, educate and entertain, the Royal Charter and Agreement sets out six public purposes.
The BBC Trust has set remits for these public purposes, and BBC management has responded with its plans for delivering each purpose.
Go to the following pages for details of the six public purposes and the BBC's plans for delivering them:
Sustaining citizenship and civil society
Promoting education and learning
Stimulating creativity and cultural excellence
Representing the UK, its nations, regions and communities
Bringing the UK to the world and the world to the UK
Delivering to the public the benefit of emerging communications technologies and services

See the BBC Trust for the purpose remits in full.

Entertainment or Education?

2008-11-10T16:05:00.002Z

I’ve tried very hard to avoid the controversial topic of the BBC-Ross-Brand row, but having come across not one, not two, but three articles on the subject in Marketing Week, I just couldn’t help myself.

Now I’d like to point out that I don’t read Marketing Week for pleasure (apart from this week) but it is necessary for my job (and a very useful resource). I do read the BBC news website, however, and I have been following the row with interest.

While I agree that the BBC is in part an entertainment service and while agreeing that most of the complaints came from people who didn’t hear the original broadcast, I find myself on the side of the people saying ‘how did this happen?’. How did the BBC, an organisation supposed to entertain and educate, allow such puerile attempts at humour to be broadcast?

Yes, ‘cutting edge’ British humour is expected to push the boundaries. Yes, Monty Python did the same. Yes, by clamping down in a knee-jerk reaction the BBC may be more cautious over the content aired during shows like ‘Have I Got News for You’.

Yes, this is a rant.

But I personally have no problem with the people effectively paying for the BBC to be allowed to have some input as to what their money is spent on. I totally agree with Ruth Mortimer in Marketing Week where she says that

“…anger about Jonathan Ross’ salary – reportedly £18m over three years – has a lot more to do with this zeitgeist rage than anything else. He is employed by the BBC, which is funded by consumers paying their licence fees. People resent someone funded with their millions gratuitously offending old men while they worry about the next mortgage payment.”

I also agree with Iain Murray’s opinion that

“..for humour to advance beyond the naughty things that make children laugh, and to enter the realm of adult wit, you need an educated, literate audience able to appreciate allusion to a wider world that that of the nursery and the potty.”

We obviously don’t have that kind of audience in Britain…

Rant over.

Quote of the Day

2008-11-10T15:20:00.004Z

"Apparently Baz Luhrmann suddenly said, 'this is crazy, we haven't got the iconic sound of Rolf Harris's wobble board on the music, we must be mad'.

Rolf Harris

Apparently Rolf has recorded a wobble board track for Baz Luhrmann's new film 'Australia'.

Genius.

Quote of the Day

2008-11-07T12:00:00.001Z

"Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain"

William Faulkner

Can I choose nothing please?

Happy Samhain!

2008-10-31T16:42:00.003Z

Samhain blessings to everyone (and a happy new year...).
Apologies, I had fully intended to do a nice little post similar to the one about Autumn Equinox, explaining a little about the Sabbat, but I've run out of time. Busy busy week at work. Hopefully I'll have time to do something next week. In the mean time, however, there is a nice little article on Samhain on the BBC Religion and Ethics website here. Enjoy.

Fittingly, also in the news today is this article on a petition. It requests that all those executed in the witch trials of the 16th and 17th century (in the UK) to be granted a royal pardon. Go sign the petition!

We really can get along

2008-10-30T16:42:00.003Z

Having read this interview of Gus diZerega by Jason Pitzl-Waters on the Wild Hunt blog (a personal favourite for all things Pagan), I was so impressed that I went out to buy the book (Beyond the Burning Times: A Pagan and Christian in Dialogue). Having not found it in the first 4 bookshops I tried, I eventually tracked down a copy in Borders on Oxford Street.

From the interview, Gus diZerega said this on the validity of different religions:

“Spirituality puts everything we experience not only into a bigger context, it is a context characterized by meaning, compassion, beauty, and love. Such has been my experience anyway. So the self ceases to be the centre of our universe once we begin to grasp this larger context.

Paganism does the same for religion by demonstrating one can be genuinely and deeply religious without saying my or any other path is best, and that every religion as we practice it illuminates only a portion of the whole divine picture. We free ourselves from equating genuine spirituality with a particular path or expression of the sacred. Instead, it is a quality of engagement found within many paths.

Think of your family. You are likely very devoted to your family without thereby thinking all other families are inferior. They are simply not your family. Same with religion. Now think back how grim the world was when people honoured and trusted only their families. Where such attitudes survive, as in Southern Italy, they contribute to suspicion, violence, and oppression.

Religions are different recognitions and celebrations of humankind’s encounter with that which is superhuman. They are perhaps the most fulfilling expressions of human creativity in this world, bringing together all of our arts, our philosophies and theologies, our hearts and our minds, all in a recognition and honouring of the sacred that underlies and manifests in our reality.”

It is definitely worth reading the full interview and I will let you know what I think of the book!
But the idea of a Pagan and Christian having so much in common (although not suprising) is nice to see in print!

Quote of the Day

2008-10-30T15:43:00.002Z

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
"Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."

Terry Pratchett - Sourcery

Numbers

2008-10-30T15:42:00.002Z

Numbers are my version of hell on earth. If there actually were a hell of course, but as I don’t believe in the devil then I don’t believe in hell. But you get my point. I hate numbers. They make my brain ache and my eyeballs shiver. My hair starts to frizz like an electrocuted mad scientist’s and I lose the ability to construct coherent sentences.
Numbers. Gnnhh.

Spreadsheets full of numbers – they’re even worse. Especially when they have all kinds of functions and auto-sums and other such nightmares.

Quote of the Day

2008-10-30T15:38:00.001Z

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".

Terry Pratchett - The Colour of Magic

I would like to be... a pelican

2008-10-30T11:46:00.003Z

I would like to be a pelican. Living in St James’ Park, being fed by the tourists (despite signs imploring them not to). Having my photo taken, like a red-carpet celebrity, as I wander the footpaths causing speeding cyclists to swerve into pedestrians. With my own little island on the lake – a haven of peace and quiet away from prying eyes.

But it might be a bit cold in the snow.

I would like to be... drinking coffee

2008-10-30T11:46:00.002Z

I would like to be drinking coffee. I’m falling asleep at my desk. Tired, my mind is being powered by a one-legged gerbil, hopping round a wheel. Caffeine. A quick and easy fix, but banned. Sleep tonight is more important that alertness at work.

That can’t be right.

Sleep tonight is less important than alertness at work?

Not right either. To caffeinate or not to caffeinate?

Too late. Decision made. Someone has just brought me a cup…

I would like to be...

2008-10-30T11:45:00.000Z

A new theme of posts! Yes, apologies for the lack of posting recently – been a bit busy...
Anyway, this theme will be ‘things I would like to be’ and in honour of its newness I offer 2 things (to follow).

Another theme in its planning stages is ‘Places I Love’.

Carefree sex kittens

2008-10-22T16:46:00.003+01:00

I considered making this a 'Quote of the Day', but felt it deserved its own, proper post.
This is another dollop of joy from the genius who is Charlie Brooker at The Guardian.

"...anyone with more than four atoms of cranial glop in their skull already knows that adverts don't provide a realistic field guide to the genders. In adverts, women are carefree sex kittens. In reality, they're just annoying. Especially the ones who whine on and on about gender stereotypes through the strange flapping hole they use for expressing simple-minded notions which is apparently located somewhere above their chests. (The Guardian has asked me to point out that this is a joke. Which indeed it is. Although, cleverly, it's also an optical illusion, because to uptight enemies of fun, it doesn't look like a joke at all, but a heinous slur. Still, at least complaining about it will give them something to do before they all die early of joylessness, leaving the rest of us to swap off-colour gags at their spartan little gravesides.)"

Politics lite

2008-10-21T10:48:00.003+01:00

Something to make you chuckle amidst all this seriousness of the U.S. elections. Although unfortunatley reading it at work led to me attempting to snort quietly into my mug of hot water. Unsuccessfully. My keyboard is now damp and my co-workers think I have a problem. Well, we know they're right....

Quote of the Day

2008-10-16T17:13:00.003+01:00

“Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.”

Terry Pratchett

“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”

Warren Hutcherson

Fearing Fire

2008-10-16T17:10:00.002+01:00

I’m a pyromaniac. I admit it. I love things burning. Lighting matches and candles, bonfires and barbeques, incense burners and lighters. I love it. The smell of a log fire, the flickering light of candles, the crackle of incense on hot charcoal. It gives me a little thrill every time.

So I was more than delighted to be offered the chance of fire-training at work today. We had an excellent instructor who used to be a senior fireman and now specialises in fire safety and prevention in historic buildings. We watched some truly horrifying films on how quickly a blaze can spread and how apathetic people can be to a fire or a fire alarm.

And yes. We got to put out real fires. I did three – two in a ‘waste paper basket’ (water and CO2 extinguishers) and one in a pan (with a fire blanket). Hugely exciting. I want to do it again.

More important, though, was our instructor’s point that people aren’t afraid of fire any more. And the more I think about it, the more I think he’s absolutely right. Fire is our friend. We light fires in our houses every day and think nothing of it. But if your smoke detector goes off, what’s the first thing you think? Fire? Or do you think: ‘someone’s burnt the toast again’?
When the fire alarm goes off at work, how many people just sit there, assuming it’s a false alarm. I know we did when our went off last week. And we’re on the top floor of our old building with one narrow, winding staircase between us and the street.

Quote(s) of the Day

2008-10-09T22:03:00.006+01:00

The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

Terry Pratchett - Night Watch

"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'."

Rincewind discussing Twoflower from

Terry Pratchett - The Colour of Magic

Quote of the Day

2008-10-08T16:27:00.000+01:00

'Miss million-to-one chance comes 9 times out of 10.'

A missive from Liz

2008-10-07T15:20:00.004+01:00

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

------------------

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

------------------

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

------------------

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

------------------

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

------------------

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

------------------

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

------------------

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

------------------

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

------------------

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

------------------

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

------------------

11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

------------------

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

------------------

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

------------------

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

------------------

God Save the Queen!

12 Days of Samhain

2008-10-07T14:29:00.003+01:00

Oh dear. Its October 7th already and I haven’t posted since September! In my defence, I’ve been on a mini-tour of Britain (well, the eastern half of it anyway) and haven’t been near a computer in aaaages.

Having returned, however, I was delighted to find this, courtesy of Patti's Paganism / Wicca Blog
It may be a little early for Samhain – I swear it gets earlier every year – but its brilliant. Although for those of us who are British, I would suggest ‘two carved pumpkins’. And for one or two of us, I might even suggest ‘Charlie cat in a spooky tree’…

The 12 Days of Samhain

On the first day of Samhain my true love gave to me
a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the second day of Samhain my true love gave to me
two jack o lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the third day of Samhain my true love gave to me
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the fourth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the fifth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the sixth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the seventh day of Samhain my true love gave to me
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the eighth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the ninth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
nine dead men dancing,
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the tenth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
ten bats a-gliding,
nine dead men dancing,
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the eleventh day of Samhain my true love gave to me
eleven spiders crawling,
ten bats a-gliding,
nine dead men dancing,
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the twelfth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
twelve brooms a-flying,
eleven spiders crawling,
ten bats a-gliding,
nine dead men dancing,
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

Quote of the Day

2008-09-29T17:01:00.002+01:00

"Hell is empty and all the devils are here."

William Shakespeare - The Tempest

COOTS

2008-09-29T16:51:00.001+01:00

Conversation overheard in Hyde Park:

"Are you born again?"

No, actually. Reincarnated.

Counting Sheep

2008-09-17T16:05:00.005+01:00

Sleep. Its so easy to take it for granted, until you don’t have it. Then all hell breaks loose. Not really – if you haven’t slept, then you wont have the energy for hell. In fact, burning to a crisp in the fires of damnation might sound like a good way to go. It would probably be more peaceful.

One person that doesn’t take sleep for granted is Lucy Kellaway, as she documents in A Point of View on the BBC website. I seem to have a frighteningly great deal in common with her. Apart from visiting Chinese doctors. I haven’t had that pleasure…

‘I went to visit a Chinese doctor. Ah yes, he said, insomnia. Very serious. He looked at my tongue and shook his head. Was I worrying about anything, he asked. I said I was worrying about not sleeping.
By way of reassurance he told me that insomnia had already made my hair dry and skin wrinkled and would in time lead to organ failure and early menopause, and would also destroy my relationships with my family and colleagues. Even my mum, I think, wouldn't have gone that far.’

The really frustrating thing is there isn’t really anything you can do about it and lying there worrying just makes things worse. I find that getting up for a while and doing something else, before going back to bed and trying again to sleep sometimes helps. But often it doesn’t.

‘Alternatively one can give up trying to use the time productively and count sheep instead. Yet this didn't work for the singer Robert Wyatt. In his song Heaps of Sheep, the animals, once counted and over the stile, refused to go further and piled up creating a vast writhing heap, causing the sleepless singer to be so traumatised he could no longer even close his eyes.’ Lucy Kellaway

Being without sleep is like torture. In fact, it is often used as such. It wears you down, leaving you more and more like a gibbering wreck. Unable to think, unable to do anything but sit, staring like a zombie, but with your mind still whirring like the exercise wheel of a gerbil high on sugar.
And heaven help anyone who tries to talk to you. Ratty (or gerbilly) doesn’t even come close. Hyper and running on adrenaline one moment, close to tears the next. You know what’s worse? ‘Missing out on sleep may cause the brain to stop producing new cells, a study has suggested.’

Well, that’s just bloody great. How very typical of my life. I can’t sleep, my brain cells are giving up and I’m going slowly mad.

Ok, ok, those of you who know me know I’ve been mad for a while. But still. Going slowly madder.

Withdrawal symptoms

2008-09-17T10:57:00.001+01:00

So, glossing over the fact that I just tried to spell ‘withdrawal’ with a ‘c’ ('witchdrawal'? don’t ask…) I’ve just realised I haven’t watched any Time Team in aaaages. Other than about 5 minutes last weekend when I was being distracted by people talking to me, which doesn’t count.

How has this happened? Well, I know why – no access to a TV for the last, oooh, couple of months, has prevented me from watching that glorious programme.

So what can I do? Um. Not a lot. *cries*
Does anyone know if Time Team is available on DVD? Is there even a market for Time Team DVDs? Other than me, of course…

Quote(s) of the day

2008-09-16T17:15:00.005+01:00

Cole: Why would I ever not want to talk to you?
Phoebe: I don't know, you know, just in case you thought I was a drunk or a lunatic, or a drunk lunatic.

Cole: Don't you think you're being a little paranoid?
Phoebe: With my demon ex-husband from hell?

from Charmed (Seasons/Episodes unknown...)

Autumn Equinox

2008-09-16T14:43:00.002+01:00

It’s nearly the autumn equinox, one of the eight Sabbats (major festivals) of the Pagan calendar or ‘Wheel of the Year’. In honour of this, I thought I’d explain a little bit about the Sabbat (sometimes called Mabon).
The Autumn Equinox is one of three harvest festivals in the Wheel of the Year (the other two being Lammas at the beginning of August and Samhain at the end of October). It is a festival of thanksgiving for the harvest, of celebration for a (hopefully) good yield and a time of slaughtering livestock and preserving food for the winter ahead.
It is also a time for relaxing and enjoying the ‘fruits of the harvest’ (although with this year’s credit crunch, we may need to be doing more storing of fruits than enjoying…!)

The change from longer days to longer nights as dark conquers light is closely associated to the Sun God’s journey from strong (in the Summer) to aging and dying (in Autumn) until his eventual death (at Yule) before his rebirth and growth (in Spring). This is middle age transforming into old age with its declining strength.
This change is mirrored in the turning of the Earth Goddess’ year: she is changing from Mother (maternal, productive, warm and caring) to Crone (symbolising wisdom, healing and rest) before her death and rebirth as Maiden.

Autumn Equinox traditions are primarily based around the last sheaf of the harvest. This was sometimes woven into a large man or woman (a la ‘Wickerman’ but minus the human sacrifices) and burned in celebration. The ashes would be scattered on the fields to ensure next year’s fertility. In some areas, the last sheaf was stored safely through the winter and ploughed back into the field in the Spring.
Small corn dollies were sometimes made from the last sheaf and kept in houses during the winter as a protection from evil spirits.

Groom me...

2008-09-15T17:13:00.001+01:00

Its official – stroking causes humans to feel pleasure…
And hugs, of course.

So will I be taking it too far if I purr?

End of the world/weekend

2008-09-15T16:48:00.000+01:00

Why, oh, why do Monday mornings have to happen? Can we not just skip straight to Monday afternoon? Or how about Tuesday? Wouldn’t the world be a happier place if we went to bed on Sunday night, dreading Monday morning and instead woke up and it was magically Tuesday…

There’s something about that moment of dread as you drift off to sleep: ‘No, no, damn it! Must…. not… sleep… must… postpone… Monday…’ There’s that little knot in your stomach, that utter misery of the weekend being over. Even if your weekend hasn’t even been that great (and for the record, my weekend has been pretty close to perfect) you still don’t want it to end. And it has nothing to do with your enjoyment of work/school/uni/retirement/other existence.

I think I know why. It’s about control. Well, it is for me anyway. I love having the flexibility of suddenly deciding to read my book for half an hour. Or go shopping. Or stay in bed. Or have a drink. I don’t like being told what to do. Yes, I’m a typical woman. Stubborn as hell, and for no good reason.

So what I really dread about the week (other than not being able to be in a small village in Hampshire) is not being able to do what I want, when I want. I’d happily work into the evening, take 30 minutes to wander around Hyde Park, 5 minutes to do the washing up etc etc. And you know what? I’d probably get more work done…

Or perhaps not. Perhaps what I really want is a 6 day week – 4 days working, 2 days off. Much better.

Quote of the Day

2008-09-15T15:23:00.001+01:00

Britain’s most famous fertility symbol is having an epic makeover. Volunteers are to re-chalk the 180ft Cerne Abbas giant. Warden Rob Rhodes, of the National Trust, which owns the site, said: ‘He is hard to pick out.’

from The Daily Mail

Am I very childish that I find this funny?!

COTS or COOTS?

2008-09-12T15:15:00.000+01:00

So I’m planning on starting a new semi-regular topic called ‘Conversations Overheard on The Street’ or COTS. Or possibly COOTS, I’m not sure yet.
It amazing what you overhear as you wend your merry way along streets, roads, paths and bridleways. Some of them can stop you in your tracks by their sheer stupidity, some because they sound so interesting you wonder if it would be considered strange to strike up a conversation with the utterrer…
This will be a fairly rarely updated topic, due to my habit of wandering around with headphones stuck in my ears. But occasionally I go out ipod-free, and sometimes I hear things….

‘I’m so fed up with all these good-looking guys with less personality than a hamster. I’m switching to interesting guys - I don’t care if they’re ugly.’

And today's award for least-shallow person in London goes to…..

Quote(s) of the day

2008-09-12T15:10:00.005+01:00

A definite Pratchett theme today:

This is very similar to the suggestion put forward by the Quirmian philosopher Ventre, who said, "Possibly the gods exist, and possibly they do not. So why not believe in them in any case? If it's all true you'll go to a lovely place when you die, and if it isn't then you've lost nothing, right?" When he died he woke up in a circle of gods holding nasty-looking sticks and one of them said, "We're going to show you what we think of Mr Clever Dick in these parts..."

Terry Pratchett – Hogfather

It is said that whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. In fact, whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first hand the equivalent of a stick with a fizzing fuse and Acme Dynamite Company written on the side. It's more interesting, and doesn't take so long.

Terry Pratchett – Soul Music

One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

Terry Pratchett – Jingo

A Pagan in hell

2008-09-12T15:05:00.002+01:00

For Richard...

A Pagan dies and, to his great surprise, he finds himself standing before some pearly gates. The Pagan asks, "Where am I?"
Peter says, "You're at the gates of heaven."
The Pagan says, "But I don't believe in heaven."
Peter frowns at him. "You're one of those Pagans, aren't you?"
"Yes. I believe I'm in the wrong place; I'm supposed to go to Summerland."
Peter looks a bit shifty and says, "Sorry. We, uh, took over Summerland, and it's temporarily closed for remodelling."
"What should I do now?"
Peter says, "Well, since we don't allow Pagans in heaven, you have to go to hell. Sorry. Just follow that path that leads downward and to the left."

The Pagan walks down to hell, where the gates are standing open. He walks in and finds beautiful meadows, happy animals, and clear streams of water. He walks on in and begins exploring, and after a few minutes a courtly gentleman walks up to him and bows politely.
"Hello, I'm Satan. You must be the guy that St. Peter phoned me about. Are you a Pagan?"
"Yes, I am. What's going to happen now?"
Satan says, "Well, the fishing's pretty good, if you enjoy that sort of thing. There's a little refreshment stand down the road. And I believe the Pagan meeting grounds are right over the next hill." The Pagan starts to relax, thinking things might have worked out ok.

Suddenly, a hole opens up in the sky above, and a yawning chasm opens directly underneath it. The stench of sulphur fills the air. Hundreds of screaming, tortured souls drop down into the flaming pit, which immediately closes up with a thud.
The Pagan nearly has a heart attack, and hardly believing what he just saw, thinking he’s just found the catch in the deal, asks Satan, "And what was THAT ???"

Satan rolls his eyes. "Oh, just ignore them. They're Christians; they wouldn't have it any other way."

Death. Part 1

2008-09-12T12:57:00.002+01:00

Continuing my recent ramble on life, here is death. Not literally of course (well, I hope not) but certainly a ramble on and around the topic death. Suitably cheerful for a Friday afternoon, I feel.
Now, I can’t promise this wont turn into a rant. Rants seem to creep up on me unannounced when I’m blogging. Nor can I promise this wont end up completely off-topic. But so what? It’s my blog, so, nye-nye-nye-nye-nye.

What is death then? Is it really the end? Do we just disappear from the planet, leaving our bodies to rot in a hole? Having recently re-watched the episodes of Torchwood season 2 dealing with Owen’s ‘death’ (Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death – sorry if you haven’t seen them yet…), the idea of there just being nothing but darkness is quite a disturbing thought.

But is death terrifying because we fear the unknown? Have we created various myths of an afterlife to stave of those moments in the middle of the night when you sit there, pondering your existence and wondering if it’s ever going to get any better?

Or is it a very Pratchett-esque situation, that whatever we believe happens comes true for us? In which case, I’m going to be resting in the Summerland for a while before reincarnating (hopefully not as a frog this time – that’s another story). In short: Paaaartaaaay! Care to join me, anyone?!

I’d like to think there is something after this life, and not just because the thought helps me to sleep. I just like the idea if there being something more to it than ‘wake up, get up, eat, work, eat, work, socialise, have a bath, eat, drink some wine, go to bed, try to sleep’. Because if there is nothing beyond that, no afterlife, no heaven, no souls or spirits going on to a better place, then what does that say about gods and goddesses? It seems to me that you can’t really have one without the other. You can’t have a spiritual entity if you have no spirit. If you have a spirit, what happens to it? Does it just dissipate at death? And if it does, then what’s the point in having one?

So, I believe in an afterlife. In fact I believe in several. I honestly believe that in the same way that we have different gods (see ‘What makes you more right than me?'), we have different afterlives and it’s up to us where we go. So, I might see you there, or I might be in the heaven next door. Bang on the wall if we get too raucous…

What makes you more right than me?

2008-09-12T12:55:00.001+01:00

It’s a question I’ve often been asked. Most frequently when ‘passive leafleting’ for my university Pagan Society. ‘Do you honestly believe you’re right?’
Well, duh? Yes, I honestly believe that paganism is right. Some of my friends may not realise how strongly, how passionately I believe that, mainly because I tend to keep it to myself. I’m a quiet religious-nut (and no, that’s not a contradiction in terms).
But the difference between me believing I’m right and, say, a stereotypical, fundamentalist Christian or Muslim believing that they are right, is that I don’t believe that I’m exclusively right.
Yes. That’s what I said. We can ALL be right.

How can I think this? Surprisingly easily… It helps that, as a Pagan, the idea of multiple deities is not a problem. But it also links to what deities are and what they do.
In my opinion, there is a celestial force. Something greater, wiser and more powerful than us (note that I’m not saying all-powerful, all-knowing etc – who says the gods are infallible?). We don’t know what it is. A pagan creation-myth I particularly like just calls it ‘TheOne’. I don’t know if it’s male, or female, or either. It just is.
And all deities are parts, or avatars, of TheOne.

Why do we have different religions then? Well, we have different music, we have different styles of art. We all see colour slightly differently. If we can approach these rather mundane things from completely different perspectives, why not religion? Why can’t one person feel more drawn to one belief without it being ‘better’ or ‘right’? It just feels better or more right for them. And that’s fine. Nothing wrong with that. It would also mean that all religions are a valid path to The One, as a part of the whole. All religions are incomplete, imperfect ways of understanding something that is so much bigger and greater than us – something that we can never even hope to understand, let alone really conceive of completely.

But if we accept that no human can ever fully understand that powerful thing, then who has the right, who can honestly look inside themselves and say that their way is the ONLY right way?

And if you can…. Good for you. Just don’t try and persuade me.

Landlocked Americans

2008-09-12T12:54:00.001+01:00

To the particular person whose family does not come from coastal America, I apologise – you are, in fact, loved.
You don’t fall into the stereotypical ‘redneck’ category. Or the stereotypical ‘non-coastal’ group. Why? Because you have travelled widely, lived and studied away from the US, and you’re an engineer. :P

Besides, you’re half-British anyway.

Fried cupcakes anyone?

2008-09-09T14:16:00.008+01:00

I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea. I'm not anti-American. I have some American friends who I love dearly. Some of them are my age, some my parents' age. Admittedly, all of them have one thing in common - they come from 'coastal' America and they've travelled the world.
The problem I have is with the stereotypical 'redneck', and having read this article, my fears seem to have been completely justified. The author, Joe Bageant, seems particularly proud of his redneck tradition/heritage/outlook.
In particular the influences on the American ethos:

Belief that no law is above God's law, not even the US Constitution.
Hyper patriotism. A fighting defence of native land, home and heart, even when it is not actually threatened: ie, Iraq, Panama, Grenada, Somalia, Cuba, Nicaragua, Vietnam, Haiti and dozens more with righteous operations titles such as Enduring Freedom, Restore Hope, and Just Cause.
A love of guns and tremendous respect for the warrior ideal. Along with this comes a strong sense of fealty and loyalty.
Fealty to wartime leaders, whether it be FDR or George Bush.
Self effacement, humility. We are usually the butt of our own jokes, in an effort not to appear aloof among one another.
Belief that most things outside our own community and nation are inferior and threatening, that the world is jealous of the American lifestyle.
Personal pride in equality. No man, however rich or powerful, is better than me.
Perseverance and belief in hard work. If a man or a family is poor, it is because they did not work hard enough. God rewards those who work hard enough. So does the American system.
The only free country in the world is the United States, and the only reason we ever go to war is to protect that freedom.

All this has become so deeply instilled as to now be reflexive. It represents many of the worst traits in American culture and a few of the best.
And that has every thinking person here in the US, except perhaps John McCain and Sarah Palin, worried.
Very worried.
BBC 'Today' website

Yes. I'm worried. Shouldn't we all be?

EDIT: I would like to point out that self effacement, humility, personal pride in equality and perseverance and belief in hard work are very noble attributes and to be applauded. The rest of them, however...

Quote of the Day

2008-09-04T14:14:00.001+01:00

Love to me can be hard, it can torment you and it can be the best thing in the world as well.
You can not take love for granted and you have to work at it like anything else. It is precious and not everyone finds it so when you have got it, enjoy it.

James Morrison

To drill or not to drill?

2008-09-04T13:57:00.003+01:00

Well, Mrs Palin has come out with a great one:

Mrs Palin - who supports drilling for oil in Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge - said that while drilling "will not solve all of America's energy problems", that is "no excuse to do nothing at all".

BBC website

Oh yes, I like that logic. It wont solve the problem, but lets throw lots of money at it and do it anyway. Surely the words 'National Wildlife Refuge' should mean something?
Nah.

A little exploration/Googling comes up with the NRDC (Natural Resources Defense Council) who have a great article on the issue, ending with:

The solution to America's energy problems will be found in American ingenuity, not more oil. Only by reducing our reliance on oil -- foreign and domestic -- and investing in cleaner, renewable forms of power will our country achieve true energy security. The good news is that we already have many of the tools we need to accomplish this. For example, Detroit has the technology right now to produce high-performance hybrid cars, trucks and SUVs. If America made the transition to these more efficient vehicles, far more oil would be saved than the Arctic Refuge is likely to produce. Doesn't that make far more sense than selling out our natural heritage and exploiting one of our true wilderness gems?

NRDC website

Life, elephants and an A+ in creativity

2008-09-03T16:51:00.007+01:00

The whole ‘abstinence programme’ thing has got me thinking about life. To the extent that it preevented me sleeping last night. Which in turn has made me irritable and grumpy. But that’s a whole other topic.
Anyway. Life. What is it? When does it start? What makes it special? What happens when it’s over? As you can imagine, hardly contemplations conducive to sleep.
I would like to make it clear right now that the following musings were born of insomnia and hardly scientifically based, nor are they fair and balanced, or even logical. Just thoughts, with the occasional ill-considered opinion thrown in for fun. I probably won’t tackle all of this all at once, but you never know. I might have a slow day at work!
Now, with that out of the way….

Conception or birth or somewhere in-between?
I once met someone with the most bizarre view on when life begins. Her view was that life has begun either when you realise you’re pregnant, or when/if you decide to get pregnant. Which could theoretically mean that life has begun even before you’ve had sex. Because the intention is there. Odd, but in a funny kind of way, I can see where she was coming from. It links into the idea of control by intention (or magic by intention and purpose). But does that mean that because I want to have children in 4 or 5 years time, then their lives have already started? A terrifying thought…
Personally, and I guess this is a bit of a cop-out, I think life begins at conception. However, for purposes of termination, I think that ‘sanctity of life’ begins when the baby/foetus/whatever it is could survive (relatively unaided). It‘s a tricky one for me as, having been adopted, I can think of very few situations when I’d advocate not carrying a baby to term (and then giving it up for adoption if necessary).

Accident or design?
What is life? Is it just the result of millennia of evolution? Are we plankton swimming in a universe of tepid water? Or is there someone/thing/things out there shrieking ‘woohoo! Look at what I did!’ And possibly a larger entity looking on approvingly saying ‘who’s mummy’s clever creator-god?’ Or ‘A+ in originality. Shame about the quality of the work though.’
But seriously. Is life for us simply ‘pink, supple and breathing’? Or is there something inside us that causes us to exist, to be aware, to act and react. Do we have a little spark inside, a little glow, a tiny bit of something that isn’t flesh, that doesn’t wobble when poked, or break when hit. Is there something more to life that respiration, reproduction, and other long words beginning with ‘r’ (any suggestions?!).

Which brings us nicely to what makes us special. (Yes. Slow day at work).
Personally I don’t think we’re anything special. Yes we build, we communicate, we use tools, we go to war, we’re technologically advanced (air conditioning for tanks? That’s just for starters…), we appreciate art and can create music, we conserve our history, we have a concept of time and space, we have religion and politics. And so what? Many of those things exist in nature (ie not human). Think chimpanzees, ants, bees, ravens, dolphins, birds, hummingbirds, orca whales, elephant graveyards, prides of lions…. Given that nature seems to achieve all that (with the possible exceptions of religion and deliberate art, but hey, who needs those?) without destroying half the environment in the process, are we really to be admired for those achievements?
If we aren’t special, then we have no right to ‘dominion over earth’. As ‘guardians’ of the planet, we’re doing a pretty crap job. It’s easier to jump in the car than take the bus and in reality, compared with the long distance flights people don’t hesitate to go on, what difference will a 20 minute bus ride make? Turning off the tap while you brush your teeth doesn’t change the gallons of water lost each day from leaky pipes. Turning off the lights (which I’m becoming quite obsessive about) saves nothing when compared with the office computers left on standby all night (and only wastes electricity if they’re energy saving lightbulbs. I know….)
Ok, how has this suddenly become an environmental rant? Ahem.
Anyway, I think what I’m trying to say is that we have an over-aggrandised opinion of ourselves. And we shouldn’t because we don’t deserve it.
But given that some of us in the world are aware of this, perhaps that is what makes us special. The ability to think beyond ourselves, not in terms of ‘preserve our young/pack/colony/hive’ but thinking beyond the good of the species, to the good of the future, maybe the fact that we can, and do, do this, we go some way to recovering our moral integrity.
And of course it’s always possible that the gods prefer us. After all, what’s not to love…?

Death to follow ;)

Kitty preview

2008-09-03T14:01:00.004+01:00

One, two, three, aaaaaawwwwwww........ Just adorable!

And one of these lovely kitties will be coming home to Dorset with us on Friday.

I'm just too excited! :D

Quote of the Day

2008-09-03T09:55:00.001+01:00

And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who dont believe in magic will never find it.

Roald Dahl The Minpins

Ill-advised comments or 'No still means No'

2008-09-02T15:45:00.002+01:00

Another rant. Dame Helen Mirren has suggested that not all rapes can and should be reported to the police or rapists taken to court. What kind of support does this give to women (and men) who have been victims of rape? I’m very disappointed that such a well-thought-of celebrity considers such public statements to be appropriate.

Blind faith?

2008-09-02T15:43:00.003+01:00

Is it just me or is the policy of ‘abstinence programmes’ rather than safe-sex education misguided, blinkered, narrow -minded and downright stupid?

‘in 2005, presidential candidate John McCain, who picked Mrs Palin as his running mate, opposed a Senate Democratic proposal that would have spent tens of millions of dollars to pay for pregnancy prevention programmes other than abstinence-only education, including education on emergency contraception such as the morning-after pill, AP reports.’
BBC website

To me, this is a basic failing of adults and people in power to put the wellbeing of the young ahead of petty political and religious agendas. It shows a blind faith in outdated, unrealistic views (that hormone-charged, young people will happily wait until they’re married if you tell them that God will love them more) which are completely out of place in the modern world.

In short – grrrr.

Anticipation of excitement

2008-08-22T15:05:00.001+01:00

Well it’s almost the bank holiday weekend (hooray) and I’m sitting in a very quiet office, listening to strange musical sounds from St James’s Park. And I’m really excited about the weekend. Because yes, it’s the annual BBQ party – known by some, dreaded by many… Wait, is that the right way round?
The costumes have been made, the shopping lists have been written, the sleeping arrangements have been planned and the parents have been shipped out for supper.
The only teeny tiny problem is the male/female ratio. Why do I seem to have so many male friends? Alternatively, why are so few of the female friends free? Could be worse I guess. The gazbo could be about to collapse, the forecast could be for rain and the grockles could be about to strip the supermarkets like locusts before I get a chance to get near them. Hang on a moment…. Damn.

It'll be fine. It will all be fine. *remembers to breathe*

Quote of the Day

2008-08-11T13:27:00.002+01:00

There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.

Melanie Griffith