Happy Samhain!

Samhain blessings to everyone (and a happy new year...).
Apologies, I had fully intended to do a nice little post similar to the one about Autumn Equinox, explaining a little about the Sabbat, but I've run out of time. Busy busy week at work. Hopefully I'll have time to do something next week. In the mean time, however, there is a nice little article on Samhain on the BBC Religion and Ethics website here. Enjoy.

Fittingly, also in the news today is this article on a petition. It requests that all those executed in the witch trials of the 16th and 17th century (in the UK) to be granted a royal pardon. Go sign the petition!

We really can get along

Having read this interview of Gus diZerega by Jason Pitzl-Waters on the Wild Hunt blog (a personal favourite for all things Pagan), I was so impressed that I went out to buy the book (Beyond the Burning Times: A Pagan and Christian in Dialogue). Having not found it in the first 4 bookshops I tried, I eventually tracked down a copy in Borders on Oxford Street.

From the interview, Gus diZerega said this on the validity of different religions:

“Spirituality puts everything we experience not only into a bigger context, it is a context characterized by meaning, compassion, beauty, and love. Such has been my experience anyway. So the self ceases to be the centre of our universe once we begin to grasp this larger context.

Paganism does the same for religion by demonstrating one can be genuinely and deeply religious without saying my or any other path is best, and that every religion as we practice it illuminates only a portion of the whole divine picture. We free ourselves from equating genuine spirituality with a particular path or expression of the sacred. Instead, it is a quality of engagement found within many paths.

Think of your family. You are likely very devoted to your family without thereby thinking all other families are inferior. They are simply not your family. Same with religion. Now think back how grim the world was when people honoured and trusted only their families. Where such attitudes survive, as in Southern Italy, they contribute to suspicion, violence, and oppression.

Religions are different recognitions and celebrations of humankind’s encounter with that which is superhuman. They are perhaps the most fulfilling expressions of human creativity in this world, bringing together all of our arts, our philosophies and theologies, our hearts and our minds, all in a recognition and honouring of the sacred that underlies and manifests in our reality.”

It is definitely worth reading the full interview and I will let you know what I think of the book!
But the idea of a Pagan and Christian having so much in common (although not suprising) is nice to see in print!

Quote of the Day

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
"Cats," he said eventually. "Cats are nice."

Terry Pratchett - Sourcery

Numbers

Numbers are my version of hell on earth. If there actually were a hell of course, but as I don’t believe in the devil then I don’t believe in hell. But you get my point. I hate numbers. They make my brain ache and my eyeballs shiver. My hair starts to frizz like an electrocuted mad scientist’s and I lose the ability to construct coherent sentences.
Numbers. Gnnhh.

Spreadsheets full of numbers – they’re even worse. Especially when they have all kinds of functions and auto-sums and other such nightmares.

Quote of the Day

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".

Terry Pratchett - The Colour of Magic

I would like to be... a pelican

I would like to be a pelican. Living in St James’ Park, being fed by the tourists (despite signs imploring them not to). Having my photo taken, like a red-carpet celebrity, as I wander the footpaths causing speeding cyclists to swerve into pedestrians. With my own little island on the lake – a haven of peace and quiet away from prying eyes.

But it might be a bit cold in the snow.

I would like to be... drinking coffee

I would like to be drinking coffee. I’m falling asleep at my desk. Tired, my mind is being powered by a one-legged gerbil, hopping round a wheel. Caffeine. A quick and easy fix, but banned. Sleep tonight is more important that alertness at work.

That can’t be right.

Sleep tonight is less important than alertness at work?

Not right either. To caffeinate or not to caffeinate?

Too late. Decision made. Someone has just brought me a cup…

I would like to be...

A new theme of posts! Yes, apologies for the lack of posting recently – been a bit busy...
Anyway, this theme will be ‘things I would like to be’ and in honour of its newness I offer 2 things (to follow).

Another theme in its planning stages is ‘Places I Love’.

Carefree sex kittens

I considered making this a 'Quote of the Day', but felt it deserved its own, proper post.
This is another dollop of joy from the genius who is Charlie Brooker at The Guardian.

"...anyone with more than four atoms of cranial glop in their skull already knows that adverts don't provide a realistic field guide to the genders. In adverts, women are carefree sex kittens. In reality, they're just annoying. Especially the ones who whine on and on about gender stereotypes through the strange flapping hole they use for expressing simple-minded notions which is apparently located somewhere above their chests. (The Guardian has asked me to point out that this is a joke. Which indeed it is. Although, cleverly, it's also an optical illusion, because to uptight enemies of fun, it doesn't look like a joke at all, but a heinous slur. Still, at least complaining about it will give them something to do before they all die early of joylessness, leaving the rest of us to swap off-colour gags at their spartan little gravesides.)"

Politics lite

Something to make you chuckle amidst all this seriousness of the U.S. elections. Although unfortunatley reading it at work led to me attempting to snort quietly into my mug of hot water. Unsuccessfully. My keyboard is now damp and my co-workers think I have a problem. Well, we know they're right....

Quote of the Day

“Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.”

Terry Pratchett

“Remember in elementary school you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file from smallest to tallest? What is the logic in that? What, do tall people burn slower?”

Warren Hutcherson

Fearing Fire

I’m a pyromaniac. I admit it. I love things burning. Lighting matches and candles, bonfires and barbeques, incense burners and lighters. I love it. The smell of a log fire, the flickering light of candles, the crackle of incense on hot charcoal. It gives me a little thrill every time.

So I was more than delighted to be offered the chance of fire-training at work today. We had an excellent instructor who used to be a senior fireman and now specialises in fire safety and prevention in historic buildings. We watched some truly horrifying films on how quickly a blaze can spread and how apathetic people can be to a fire or a fire alarm.

And yes. We got to put out real fires. I did three – two in a ‘waste paper basket’ (water and CO2 extinguishers) and one in a pan (with a fire blanket). Hugely exciting. I want to do it again.

More important, though, was our instructor’s point that people aren’t afraid of fire any more. And the more I think about it, the more I think he’s absolutely right. Fire is our friend. We light fires in our houses every day and think nothing of it. But if your smoke detector goes off, what’s the first thing you think? Fire? Or do you think: ‘someone’s burnt the toast again’?
When the fire alarm goes off at work, how many people just sit there, assuming it’s a false alarm. I know we did when our went off last week. And we’re on the top floor of our old building with one narrow, winding staircase between us and the street.

Quote(s) of the Day

The Assassin moved quietly from roof to roof until he was well away from the excitement around the Watch House. His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

Terry Pratchett - Night Watch

"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'."

Rincewind discussing Twoflower from

Terry Pratchett - The Colour of Magic

Quote of the Day

'Miss million-to-one chance comes 9 times out of 10.'

A missive from Liz

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

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God Save the Queen!

12 Days of Samhain

Oh dear. Its October 7th already and I haven’t posted since September! In my defence, I’ve been on a mini-tour of Britain (well, the eastern half of it anyway) and haven’t been near a computer in aaaages.

Having returned, however, I was delighted to find this, courtesy of Patti's Paganism / Wicca Blog
It may be a little early for Samhain – I swear it gets earlier every year – but its brilliant. Although for those of us who are British, I would suggest ‘two carved pumpkins’. And for one or two of us, I might even suggest ‘Charlie cat in a spooky tree’…


The 12 Days of Samhain

On the first day of Samhain my true love gave to me
a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the second day of Samhain my true love gave to me
two jack o lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the third day of Samhain my true love gave to me
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the fourth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the fifth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the sixth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the seventh day of Samhain my true love gave to me
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the eighth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the ninth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
nine dead men dancing,
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the tenth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
ten bats a-gliding,
nine dead men dancing,
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the eleventh day of Samhain my true love gave to me
eleven spiders crawling,
ten bats a-gliding,
nine dead men dancing,
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.

On the twelfth day of Samhain my true love gave to me
twelve brooms a-flying,
eleven spiders crawling,
ten bats a-gliding,
nine dead men dancing,
eight ghosts a-haunting,
seven skulls a-grinning,
six owls a-hooting,
five pointy hats,
four séance spirits,
three crooked headstones,
two jack o'lanterns
and a black cat in a spooky tree.