My name is...

Anonymity. It's quite important to me. Not because I think anything I write is particularly controversial, or that anyone would be interested in stalking me, but because I don't like the idea of instantly linked with what I've blogged.

What I write is truly what I think. But its not always appropriate to voice your opinions loudly regardless of the situation or company you're in. For example, I probably wouldn't launch into a rant about American politics, or cotton wool culture to everyone I met. I wouldn't talk about sex education with someone I didn't know very well. Nor would I be likely to discuss my religious views at work. Or death.

So having a barrier between the real 'me' and the Mylissa who blogs is important. I can (and do) tell my friends where to find my blog. But I don't include the link in the countless job applications that I'm sending out. you get my point.

So the recent ruling regarding the 'outing' of the award-winning Night Jack blogger has come as a bit of a shock. Of course, his situation is rather different. Blogging identifiable details about ongoing police cases was unjustifiably stupid. But the whole thing does beg the question, how easy would it be for someone to track down who I really am? (And no, that's not a challenge...)

Good service and unemployment

Well so much for having internet connection.  A certain British telecommunications company (I name no names), having connected our phone line, decided (in their great wisdom) to cut us off.  They apologised, admitted it was their fault and then told us it would be 3 weeks before we could be reconnected...

Customer service?  You must be joking...

We are, in fact, due to be reconnected on Wednesday. O2, our internet provider, have been very helpful and hopefully the internet will connect as soon as the phone line does. 

It really shouldn't be this difficult, although I must say it has been Llyando who has done a lot of the phoning, rather than me.  As you know, I'm not very good at being assertive.

In other news, I'm now unemployed.  My contract came to an end and the organisation I was working for couldn't keep me on.  So, I'm spending my time searching for a job.  Any job.  Really any job.  So if anyone out there wishes to employ me, please let me know!

Otherwise I'll have to be a kept woman while continuing my bid for world domination through blogging...

Simple ways to improve your life

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bed pan.

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS:

• Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
• Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
• Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
• Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
• Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
• Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
• If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
• Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
• Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
• Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
• Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
• Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
• How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
• When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'
• Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
• In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
• How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
• The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

This little piggy went to market…

Those of you who know me probably already know my views on pigs. Intelligent creatures for the most part (both my friends and the pigs. No, my friends are not pigs), pigs are also pretty cute. Well, piglets anyway.

I am by no stretch of the imagination vegetarian, but I don’t eat much pig. Or pork. Mainly I don’t like the taste of ham and bacon. But I like sausages. But I’m very fussy about what type of sausages I eat. I will only eat British reared pig. Not because of the taste (although it tends to be delicious), but because in Britain we have far higher pig rearing standards than in the rest of Europe.

In Europe, pigs are kept in terrible conditions. Intensively ‘factory’ farmed, with the sows locked in sowing stalls and farrowing pens, the pigs are often kept in darkness and on concrete floors. I would recommend reading Jon Henley’s article in the Guardian for further details.

In Britain it’s a slightly different story. We do have higher welfare standards for our pigs. Most pigs in Britain have access to the outdoors, straw in their pens and greater freedom of movement. But it still isn’t great. Often piglets born outside are fattened for slaughter indoors. Some British (Organic) farms are, of course, pretty good. Piglets gambolling about the open fields, out in the fresh air. All of that. But it comes at a price:

Tim Finney, managing director of Eastbrook's organic meats business, reckons that amounts to an extra 30 or 40p a kilo just to keep the system running, plus another 70p a kilo for the organic feed. "Overall," he says, "it probably costs us about double what it costs to produce a conventional pig. Although if we weren't organic, we could run the farm the same way and produce meat that was maybe 25% more expensive. That would still be a huge step forwards in welfare terms."

Jon Henley 'Welfare doesn’t come into it'

Jamie Oliver is starting a campaign. Not to improve standards necessarily, but to educate the public. He believes (as I do) that to be a meat eater (and we were bred to be), you have to fully understand where your meat comes from. With no apologies. If you eat meat, then yes, you are causing cute little piggies, curly-lashed calves and woolly, bleating lambs to be slaughtered. If you eat fish, then you are causing fish to be ‘drowned’. Get over it.

Oh, and if you’re a vegetarian, then please stop wearing or carrying leather. It just makes you a hypocrite. And justifying it by saying ‘well they’re dead anyway’ is ridiculous.

Anyway. If you can accept those things, good for you. I can accept them and so I eat meat. But that doesn’t mean that we’re so much better than animals. That we have the right to do what we want to them. We have the obligation to farm them as humanely as possible.

Ideally, of course we’d all raise our own animals like Alex Renton and send them to local slaughterhouses/butchers at the end of their happy, outdoor, organic lives.

Or stop eating meat.

Quote of the day

Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine -- once.
Like the Borg, they learn...

Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett

Spiritual Development

Sad news – the wonderful pagan – spiritual - philosophical podcast ‘Deo’s Shadow’ is coming to an end. For those of you who don’t know Deo’s Shadow, I would highly recommend it.
Deo and Mandy have moved from Paganism to Atheism and I wish them well, although I will miss the podcast greatly.

But it does raise the question of personal spiritual development – once we fall into a category/religious path, how easy is it to break away or change our views? Having been brought up as C of E, exploring new religions at school was very limited. Everything was labelled, everything fit nicely into a little box and everything was compared to Christianity. But do religious ‘labels’ really do us any good? There is so much in common between the world religions and most faiths evolve, to a certain extent, with the times. So when I describe myself as Pagan, what does that actually mean?

I had a long discussion with my boyfriend about religion recently. It was really interesting, not just the depth of philosophical thought that we reached, but also I became aware of how much I don’t fit into the ‘pagan/witch’ bracket and how much my personal beliefs have changed and developed since I turned to paganism when I was 14/15. Paganism, I feel, does allow for this kind of development. The existence of ‘solitaries’ who embrace their own paths allows a wide variety of beliefs and doesn’t restrict the individual’s personal beliefs, nor does it force them to ‘fit’ to a more widely held view/religion. A variety of published books (some more proscriptive than others, admittedly), online communities or 'real world' groups allow for the exchange of ideas necessary to reassess one’s beliefs.

Not that this makes paganism perfect. Often you are left floundering in a sea of uncertainty, with no one to help, no religious text to guide you (although this does ensure a level of independent thought and responsibility sometimes less evident in other religions). Labels can help you to define yourself and find your place in the world. But paganism’s label can also restrict development. So much is expected of a pagan. Either we fit with often ridiculous long-held superstitions and bigotry, or conversely, we are expected to enjoy a freedom of thought and action (and acceptance by the wider world) that often is unrealistic.

This is still only a small beginning of a barely-formed thought in a very small brain (and still subject to change), but what do the rest of you think?


Update: I've just left the following comment on the Wild Hunt Blog on this topic (Part one here):

Personally I think that part of the problem is the labelling - putting people into boxes according to their label - and then expecting them to stay there! One of the things that appeals to me most about Paganism is its flexibility, that 'solitaries' follow their own path and therefore can change that path as and when they develop.

But perhaps I'm just a very naive Pagan! Certainly I've not spent much time in a wider pagan 'community' (or 'network') either online or in the real world, other than setting up a Pagan Society at University. Interestingly, my aim of the society was to allow pagans to meet and exhange ideas, thus having their own views/beliefs challenged with a view to encouraging development. However it quickly became more 'boxy' than I had hoped and I felt that it was preventing the open discussion that I'd hoped for. If this is what Paganism is becoming, then I'm not suprised that Deo and Mandy are looking for a more open 'label' in which to continue their development! Good luck to them.

Update 2: Well I haven't posted the comment above onto the Wild Hunt yet, because it wont let me. Grr. I'll just have to try again later or tomorrow.

Counting Sheep

Sleep. Its so easy to take it for granted, until you don’t have it. Then all hell breaks loose. Not really – if you haven’t slept, then you wont have the energy for hell. In fact, burning to a crisp in the fires of damnation might sound like a good way to go. It would probably be more peaceful.

One person that doesn’t take sleep for granted is Lucy Kellaway, as she documents in A Point of View on the BBC website. I seem to have a frighteningly great deal in common with her. Apart from visiting Chinese doctors. I haven’t had that pleasure…

‘I went to visit a Chinese doctor. Ah yes, he said, insomnia. Very serious. He looked at my tongue and shook his head. Was I worrying about anything, he asked. I said I was worrying about not sleeping.
By way of reassurance he told me that insomnia had already made my hair dry and skin wrinkled and would in time lead to organ failure and early menopause, and would also destroy my relationships with my family and colleagues. Even my mum, I think, wouldn't have gone that far.’

The really frustrating thing is there isn’t really anything you can do about it and lying there worrying just makes things worse. I find that getting up for a while and doing something else, before going back to bed and trying again to sleep sometimes helps. But often it doesn’t.

‘Alternatively one can give up trying to use the time productively and count sheep instead. Yet this didn't work for the singer Robert Wyatt. In his song Heaps of Sheep, the animals, once counted and over the stile, refused to go further and piled up creating a vast writhing heap, causing the sleepless singer to be so traumatised he could no longer even close his eyes.’ Lucy Kellaway

Being without sleep is like torture. In fact, it is often used as such. It wears you down, leaving you more and more like a gibbering wreck. Unable to think, unable to do anything but sit, staring like a zombie, but with your mind still whirring like the exercise wheel of a gerbil high on sugar.
And heaven help anyone who tries to talk to you. Ratty (or gerbilly) doesn’t even come close. Hyper and running on adrenaline one moment, close to tears the next. You know what’s worse? ‘Missing out on sleep may cause the brain to stop producing new cells, a study has suggested.’

Well, that’s just bloody great. How very typical of my life. I can’t sleep, my brain cells are giving up and I’m going slowly mad.

Ok, ok, those of you who know me know I’ve been mad for a while. But still. Going slowly madder.

Death. Part 1

Continuing my recent ramble on life, here is death. Not literally of course (well, I hope not) but certainly a ramble on and around the topic death. Suitably cheerful for a Friday afternoon, I feel.
Now, I can’t promise this wont turn into a rant. Rants seem to creep up on me unannounced when I’m blogging. Nor can I promise this wont end up completely off-topic. But so what? It’s my blog, so, nye-nye-nye-nye-nye.

What is death then? Is it really the end? Do we just disappear from the planet, leaving our bodies to rot in a hole? Having recently re-watched the episodes of Torchwood season 2 dealing with Owen’s ‘death’ (Dead Man Walking and A Day in the Death – sorry if you haven’t seen them yet…), the idea of there just being nothing but darkness is quite a disturbing thought.

But is death terrifying because we fear the unknown? Have we created various myths of an afterlife to stave of those moments in the middle of the night when you sit there, pondering your existence and wondering if it’s ever going to get any better?

Or is it a very Pratchett-esque situation, that whatever we believe happens comes true for us? In which case, I’m going to be resting in the Summerland for a while before reincarnating (hopefully not as a frog this time – that’s another story). In short: Paaaartaaaay! Care to join me, anyone?!

I’d like to think there is something after this life, and not just because the thought helps me to sleep. I just like the idea if there being something more to it than ‘wake up, get up, eat, work, eat, work, socialise, have a bath, eat, drink some wine, go to bed, try to sleep’. Because if there is nothing beyond that, no afterlife, no heaven, no souls or spirits going on to a better place, then what does that say about gods and goddesses? It seems to me that you can’t really have one without the other. You can’t have a spiritual entity if you have no spirit. If you have a spirit, what happens to it? Does it just dissipate at death? And if it does, then what’s the point in having one?

So, I believe in an afterlife. In fact I believe in several. I honestly believe that in the same way that we have different gods (see ‘What makes you more right than me?'), we have different afterlives and it’s up to us where we go. So, I might see you there, or I might be in the heaven next door. Bang on the wall if we get too raucous…

What makes you more right than me?

It’s a question I’ve often been asked. Most frequently when ‘passive leafleting’ for my university Pagan Society. ‘Do you honestly believe you’re right?’
Well, duh? Yes, I honestly believe that paganism is right. Some of my friends may not realise how strongly, how passionately I believe that, mainly because I tend to keep it to myself. I’m a quiet religious-nut (and no, that’s not a contradiction in terms).
But the difference between me believing I’m right and, say, a stereotypical, fundamentalist Christian or Muslim believing that they are right, is that I don’t believe that I’m exclusively right.
Yes. That’s what I said. We can ALL be right.

How can I think this? Surprisingly easily… It helps that, as a Pagan, the idea of multiple deities is not a problem. But it also links to what deities are and what they do.
In my opinion, there is a celestial force. Something greater, wiser and more powerful than us (note that I’m not saying all-powerful, all-knowing etc – who says the gods are infallible?). We don’t know what it is. A pagan creation-myth I particularly like just calls it ‘TheOne’. I don’t know if it’s male, or female, or either. It just is.
And all deities are parts, or avatars, of TheOne.

Why do we have different religions then? Well, we have different music, we have different styles of art. We all see colour slightly differently. If we can approach these rather mundane things from completely different perspectives, why not religion? Why can’t one person feel more drawn to one belief without it being ‘better’ or ‘right’? It just feels better or more right for them. And that’s fine. Nothing wrong with that. It would also mean that all religions are a valid path to The One, as a part of the whole. All religions are incomplete, imperfect ways of understanding something that is so much bigger and greater than us – something that we can never even hope to understand, let alone really conceive of completely.

But if we accept that no human can ever fully understand that powerful thing, then who has the right, who can honestly look inside themselves and say that their way is the ONLY right way?

And if you can…. Good for you. Just don’t try and persuade me.

Life, elephants and an A+ in creativity

The whole ‘abstinence programme’ thing has got me thinking about life. To the extent that it preevented me sleeping last night. Which in turn has made me irritable and grumpy. But that’s a whole other topic.
Anyway. Life. What is it? When does it start? What makes it special? What happens when it’s over? As you can imagine, hardly contemplations conducive to sleep.
I would like to make it clear right now that the following musings were born of insomnia and hardly scientifically based, nor are they fair and balanced, or even logical. Just thoughts, with the occasional ill-considered opinion thrown in for fun. I probably won’t tackle all of this all at once, but you never know. I might have a slow day at work!
Now, with that out of the way….

Conception or birth or somewhere in-between?
I once met someone with the most bizarre view on when life begins. Her view was that life has begun either when you realise you’re pregnant, or when/if you decide to get pregnant. Which could theoretically mean that life has begun even before you’ve had sex. Because the intention is there. Odd, but in a funny kind of way, I can see where she was coming from. It links into the idea of control by intention (or magic by intention and purpose). But does that mean that because I want to have children in 4 or 5 years time, then their lives have already started? A terrifying thought…
Personally, and I guess this is a bit of a cop-out, I think life begins at conception. However, for purposes of termination, I think that ‘sanctity of life’ begins when the baby/foetus/whatever it is could survive (relatively unaided). It‘s a tricky one for me as, having been adopted, I can think of very few situations when I’d advocate not carrying a baby to term (and then giving it up for adoption if necessary).

Accident or design?
What is life? Is it just the result of millennia of evolution? Are we plankton swimming in a universe of tepid water? Or is there someone/thing/things out there shrieking ‘woohoo! Look at what I did!’ And possibly a larger entity looking on approvingly saying ‘who’s mummy’s clever creator-god?’ Or ‘A+ in originality. Shame about the quality of the work though.’
But seriously. Is life for us simply ‘pink, supple and breathing’? Or is there something inside us that causes us to exist, to be aware, to act and react. Do we have a little spark inside, a little glow, a tiny bit of something that isn’t flesh, that doesn’t wobble when poked, or break when hit. Is there something more to life that respiration, reproduction, and other long words beginning with ‘r’ (any suggestions?!).

Which brings us nicely to what makes us special. (Yes. Slow day at work).
Personally I don’t think we’re anything special. Yes we build, we communicate, we use tools, we go to war, we’re technologically advanced (air conditioning for tanks? That’s just for starters…), we appreciate art and can create music, we conserve our history, we have a concept of time and space, we have religion and politics. And so what? Many of those things exist in nature (ie not human). Think chimpanzees, ants, bees, ravens, dolphins, birds, hummingbirds, orca whales, elephant graveyards, prides of lions…. Given that nature seems to achieve all that (with the possible exceptions of religion and deliberate art, but hey, who needs those?) without destroying half the environment in the process, are we really to be admired for those achievements?
If we aren’t special, then we have no right to ‘dominion over earth’. As ‘guardians’ of the planet, we’re doing a pretty crap job. It’s easier to jump in the car than take the bus and in reality, compared with the long distance flights people don’t hesitate to go on, what difference will a 20 minute bus ride make? Turning off the tap while you brush your teeth doesn’t change the gallons of water lost each day from leaky pipes. Turning off the lights (which I’m becoming quite obsessive about) saves nothing when compared with the office computers left on standby all night (and only wastes electricity if they’re energy saving lightbulbs. I know….)
Ok, how has this suddenly become an environmental rant? Ahem.
Anyway, I think what I’m trying to say is that we have an over-aggrandised opinion of ourselves. And we shouldn’t because we don’t deserve it.
But given that some of us in the world are aware of this, perhaps that is what makes us special. The ability to think beyond ourselves, not in terms of ‘preserve our young/pack/colony/hive’ but thinking beyond the good of the species, to the good of the future, maybe the fact that we can, and do, do this, we go some way to recovering our moral integrity.
And of course it’s always possible that the gods prefer us. After all, what’s not to love…?

Death to follow ;)

False teeth, unconsummated marriages and hugs

This is an article that I read when it was published in the Observer Magazine. I cut it out and kept it, because she comes across as the most amazing woman.

"Life might be about nothing, but it might be about something. ... Love is the key - it's the only thing that matters."

When I grow up, I want to be Rose Hacker.